


Outlander I

by Vellamo1



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M, Lemon, Lime, Slow Burn, Smut, Time Travel, Victorian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-08 02:28:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 30,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11637042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vellamo1/pseuds/Vellamo1
Summary: Be careful what you wish for. You may get it. Especially if you want a more interesting life





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started to write this story just to get it out of my head.  
> But as often happens, text just comes and goes ...  
> I got my friend's order to share this with the public, so here you get it. In good and bad.  
> English is not my best language, so please excuse the occasional scrambling and grammar abuse.  
> I do not own any rights to source texts, songs, trademarks or anything else.  
> I only own my writing skills and my imagination.  
> Also that dirty side.  
> Read and enjoy.  
> Or do not.  
> The choice is yours.  
> Edit: This whole story, or as far, as I have written, is now available also in Finnish under my author name.  
> 

Awakening

\----------

Something touched my forehead.

Cold, wet.......

\----------

I started to discern my ambience.  
Soft ..... I lay in bed.  
I felt the pillow beneath my head, heavy blanket over me.

My nose itch.

I lifted my hand and banged myself into the jaw.

"Ouch"

Sense of touch cleary works......

I turned my head on a pillow.

Soft, very soft pillow.

"Down" was glimpse in my mind.

It explains the tickle of my nose.

I began to explore my surroundings more closely.

I brush blanket with my fingers.

I felt the smoothness of the lacquer, then the stitches of quilt.

Weird, no duvet cover...

I heard muffled voices.

Bird chirp.

Something fell down or broke somewhere far away.

The sounds were soft and suppressed, just like a long distance or behind of many layers of material.

I tried to open my eyes.

My eyes seemed to be glued together, eyelids weighing pounds.

I rubbed my lids and finally got open lightly my eyes .

The view revealing between my eyelashes made me open my eyes wide open.

"You're certainly not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy."

I slept in a big bed in a room, that would fit into my former home.

My first thought was the amount of blueness.

Beddings was blue.

The walls were light blue.

Curtains on large windows were dark blue velvet, the same material as my blanket.

The immense carpet on the floor was patterned by dark blue and creamy.

"The interior decorator of this room has clearly had a good eye color, and a bottomless wallet from the handle," I thought.

I sat gently to sit and look more closely around me.

On the left was the door, opposite to the other.

The left side of the opposite door was a row of dark wood cabinet doors.

On the right side of the door was a small desk with chairs.

On the left side there was a nightstand and a blue armchair.

On my right was a walled high, wide, multi-windowed window.

To the right of the bed was a dressing table and an armless, low-back chair.

Everything was full of good quality and good taste.

I had never been in such a luxurious state in my life.

The only similar things I had seen was television shows featuring Swedish or English courts or noble mansions.

I spun my shoulders and stretch. The vertebras crack familiar, but nothing really hurt. I was just stiff.  
I pressed the jaw against my chest and put my hand on the back of the skull. Slow stretching caused the blood to circulate, and my familiar morning routines attenuated my alarming concern.  
Ear to shoulder, stretch.  
Second direction, the same thing.

As muscle twitch became easier, it seemed as if my thinking had also come out of its hold.

I stretched both my arms toward the facade roof.

My eyes followed my hands, and I realized something.  
I counted my arms and looked at my nails.

The red nail polish was unbreakable, but the growth line was halfway between the fingernail.  
Millimeter by a week meant that I had been unconscious for at least four weeks.

"What the blimey of a thing happened to me!"

"Where the hell am I?"

"And why I do not remember anything!?!"

Thoughts swayed in my head as I put the blanket aside and I counted my bare feet on the carpet.

I took care of the bedside and took a stand.

My hip joints cried out, and my knees trembling.

I slump to the armchair to gather forces.

This is not clearly a hospital, it is certain.  
This is too beautiful and expensive, and I have never heard of a hospital where patients would be dressed like this.

I pet curious about my nightgown. The long dress was cream-colored silk and sleeves, tail and mantle was ornate by pure white lace. The sleeves was short, just below my elbows, and when I was standing I noticed the hem extending only to mid-thighs. This garment was clearly meant for someone shorter than me.

I took a grip on the chair's armrests and lever myself up again.

I feel still weak like a new-born kitten, but at least I felt standing upright.  
The door on the left was closed and the handle did not turn when I tried. Either the lock was too rigid, or, most likely, the door was blocked from the outside. Yank the door would not help, so I went through my way around the room, running my fingers along the wall.

The wardrobe's doors were dark, with the most stylish wood engraving. I opened the first cabinet and found a full-sized mirror on the inside of the door.

The picture in front of me was a shock.

No wonder if my condition seemed to end already as the bed rises. I'd lost at least ten kilos of weight somewhere, my hip and clavicle protrude out like blades of axe and my eyes had fallen into darker pits.

I was pale, very pale. I'm fair naturally, just that annoying type that summer only burn and not even by mistake tan, and will be in the shadow of those rare Finns hot summer days when the rest of the citizens go to lie down parks and courtyards of absorbing every beam of a rare delicacy.

But now my skin had disappeared in the slightest shade, that light gold glow that made me look healthy and alive. My skin was like multipurpose paper, tintless, lifeless, faded.

I could be a horror movie figure.

My cheekbones looked ridiculously high above my sag cheeks, and my olive-green eyes seemed big and dim, as exhaustion would have dried them all living.

I swallow a piece down of my throat.

What ever happened to me, it had been serious. This is not the case because of flu or the like. Had I been into an accident, or was smoking finally causing lung cancer and I was now in some sort of sanitarium after the treatment period?

I shake my head.

Everything will be explained as long as I find someone who would tell me.

As long as I was alone, I could use time to benefit and continue exploring places.

The next cabinet door revealed the stack of clothes. Black jeans, bright red t-shirt and black underwears. Black boots embellished with rivets on the bottom of the cabinet below the black leather trench hanging on the hanger.

My clothes.

I look at the clothes more closely.  
Each garment was clean, even the shoes were polished.  
The right thigh of the denim was a large, abrasive area, as if I had slide a steep, asphalted slope down my side. A quick check revealed the same damage on my right flank and sleeve on my leather jacket. Had I been hit by an accident?

I studied pockets of my jacket.

Hurraw's lip balm.  
Two lipstick, one looks like Joe Blasco's True Red and another Lumene's nude.  
A couple of wrinkly shopping lists.  
Black leather glove.  
Small tinbox of fisherman's friend-throat pastilles.

I put the lozenge in my mouth and continued the inventory.

A second pocket was found in pair of a glove, a pressed powder, a package of handkerchiefs, and a ear buds.

Everything was familiar. Nothing that would explain what had happened.

West's cigarette case was found on the inside breast pocked. Wonderful.  
There were three cigarettes in the box and a small Bic's lighter.

I shove stuffs, except for the smoke case, back into the jacket pockets and opened the last cabinet door.

Dark green dressing gown was hanging otherwise empty cabinet.  
The garment was just astonishing.  
Dark bottle-green, silky gown was almost floor-length, sleeves covered my palm and wide shoulders hanging over my shoulders.  
This was clearly a man's piece of clothing.

I opened a mirrored cabinet door and looked at myself.

The soft green silk complying my body sensually, and the embroidered dragon rolled over my legs waving with the fabric as a living creature.  
Long green sash and pocket.  
I lifted the hood over my head and I noticed the thin stitch lining inside the hood. The garment would certainly be delighted warm in the cold days.

I left the robe on me, put the cigarettes in my pocket and shut the cabinet doors.

The other door of the room lead to the bathroom.

White tiled flooring.  
Brass faucets above the sink and the bath, two in each.  
Strange, and old-fashioned. And so British. I remember reading how English people voted mixer taps for the worst redundant stuff of the year.

Matter of taste...

Oh, bathtub with lionpaws. The tub looked so deep and long that I could definitely sleep in it.  
There are more saunas in Finland than cars, and showering is the most common type of bathing, but there are only few baths in the apartments. That must be allowed to test.  
The fire-heated palju from a summer cottage is the closest to the bathtub that I have the opportunity to use, and the idea of a hot bath without mandatory mosquitoes seemed delightful.

Wait a minute.

Shower.

There is no shower here.

Strange.

Although the floor had a hexagonal tile, the taps were decorative brass and pawtub ... Maybe the decorator was penchant of 19th century style and wanted to keep the bathroom as authentic as possible. What kind of toilet was then? Here, at least, fortunately, there is watertoilet, even though the water tank was up the wall and the pull is at the end of the chain.

I curb my curiousness to investigate the jars in the wall shelf and went back to the bedroom.

Dark-wood desk with silver drags.  
This furniture has probably cost an arm and a leg.  
The polished surface reflected my figure, and gently bowed pulls called for the boxes to be examined.

Creamy bond papers. Heavy and thick, not any kind of tacky merchandise.  
Envelopes from the same material.  
Two small, bottom-wide bottles. Next to the boxed pen tips and a few handles made of different materials.  
Interesting.

Maybe original owner of the room was interested by calligraphy?

In the last box was cardboard full of porous paper. I had never seen the same, but when I remember the ink bottles and pencils, I thought the paper was a blotting paper.

I leaned over the desk to the chair and rest my elbows on the table.

My mind rotated around.

The room was beautiful, spacious and with a good taste -and money- decorated. But there was no electricity here.  
The ceiling lamp was a candlestick, the desk had a five-foot candlestick, and a nightstand with a single candle leg with a finger to the loop, obviously for carrying.

The bathroom wall lamps were oil lamps, for this was the container and the heart whose length could be regulated by the rotating knob.

I could not hear the tiny humming that was familiar with the electrical appliances enclosed in my home. There was no wall plugs on the mains.

I feel how sweat rise out of my neck.

Panic started to raise his head again.

Where am I?

I sobbed and blame myself.  
It was not time to get any childish hysteria.

I slam my palms to the table surface and gave a shake to clear my head.  
These cards are played what dealer give you.  
At the moment, though, it seems that the pack is strange, and I do not know the rules of the game, but everything will become clear as long as someone comes and gets an explanation.  
Now I just could wait, and keep my imagination in check.  
Crying would not help anything.

I missed something familiar and normal to do.

The windows were high, and each had a recess in front of each other, like a window sill inside the wall.  
The walls had to be astonishingly thick, as the wide wooden boards were sufficiently deep even to sit.  
I found a window with the bottom of the screen to open it. I opened the agraffe and left the garden scented air flow inside the room. Somewhere close was roses, the scent was clear in my nose.  
I sit to the window sill and collected the dressing gown's tails under my rear the cushion. Weight loss had taken all the flesh out of my body, but at least I was comforted by the fact that if anything, my arse would be restored first...

I opened cigarette pack and light a cigarette. The familiar scent floated in the air, and the nicotine roar up to my head. Was this sanitarium or not, I refused to give up smoking. What would I do after the last ones had been burned, it would be a time of sorrow. Now I leaned my head on the wall and enjoyed the feeling when lightly menthol-like smoke filled my lungs.

Somehow I drew my attention. Outside the door were quiet steps.  
Clanks and clicks would tell someone to be at the door.

I shake off the ash from the open window and turned to look at the door.

The door handle turned slowly, and a man in a black suit came in.

He was a slim, straight-figure figure whose black hair behind me looked sharp, brown-red eyes.

I was looking curious. The man was tall, dressed in the jacket, the kind I had seen in the history of butlers and silver watches alongside him. Old-fashioned clothing and rigid posture were not able to cover the fact that a person was rarely impressive to watch. I realized I was staring and turned away, pulling the nightgown to cover my naked knees.

Im not a shy girl, but I felt I was underdog because I was half-dressed, ad he was, well, correct.

"I am glad to see that you can be better," the man said in a soft voice.

"English", I thought confused. "Why does he speak English?"

However, I responded awkwardly in the same language.

"I'm fine, thanks. May I ask, where am I and what am I doing here? "

"You are near in London, in the Phantomhive Manor. We found you a month ago away from the road leading to the alleys. You have since been comatose, and young Earl has been very worried about you. "

"Earl...?"

"Yes, Earl specifically asked to make sure you get the best possible treatment. However, we started losing hope, because you did not wake up to eat and unconscious is difficult to feed. "

So it explained my slimming, but not why I was not taken to a hospital where I could have a nutrition injected.

"Why did not you move me to the hospital?"

The butler looked at me for a long time.

"We wanted you stay alive."

I stared at the man. A frightening thought rise to my mind.

Thoughts spin in my head.

Poor medical care.

Men's clothing.  
Not electricity

"What day is it now?"

"July 28 in 1889."

I put my head down my knees.

My field of vision turned dim.

"In 1889 ........"

I heard only the muffled curse, when world around me turn black.

 

.....................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would I have some comments, please? Is this really so awful?


	2. Chapter 2

It was dark around me.

Something chirps in my ears and I had horribly headache.

Something smelled.  
Ammonia.

I get deep breath and sour smell of smelling salt fill my nostrils and my lungs.

I sneezed and I felt the hand rolling on my back to steady me.

I opened my eyes and saw worried dark-red eyes right in front of me.

I seated on the floor next to the window wall, an open silver bottle under my face.

I was apparently fainted.

Something knocked in my occiput.

Something that was not right.  
Something that could not be right.  
Something that could not have been right.

"Mitä sinä sanoit?" (What did you say?)

"Sorry, lady, what do you mean?"

I change to English. "From year."

"It is the year of 1889, the 52nd year of His Majesty Queen Victoria, God bless the Queen."

I pressed my head down to knees again. I was no longer dizzy, now I feel myself very indisposition

This could not have been true. I saw a dream. A wretched, very strange dream.

"Are you kidding?"

"Excuse me, Lady?"

"Are you kidding at my expense? Or is this a drama, or a live-role playing game? "

"I'm not kidding, Lady. There is no drama here, and I do not know what you mean by roleplay. "

"Stop calling me Lady," I said, and I pressed my head to knees again.


	3. Things clear up

I do not know how long I sat on the floor.

I did not think anything.  
I did not want to think anything.  
I was afraid of my thoughts.  
I was afraid my fears were true.  
I was afraid that they were not true and that I was gone crazy.

I started to be at the point that I was already afraid of fear.

I thought I was going crazy.

For that would also be a better option.

The second option I did not even want to think.

"This can not be true," whirring in my mind.

"I am Hanna Maaria Virtanen, born in October 1980, married, mother of a ten-year-old daughter, 36 year old, I live in Finland in Lappeenranta, horoscope scales, blood group A +, Social Security number 091080 - ****, phone number 040 *******" - My mind was rotated, repeating without interruption.

I began to understand why soldiers are being taught in hostage- and interrogation situations to repeat their name, status, and military number. Repeating the familiar names, numbers and things aloud reassured, gave a sensible attachment to the grasp when everything around seemed to slip into absurdity.

Eventually, I felt the nausea relaxed.

I heard the door swing, and I lifted my eyes.

The butler stepped into the room, pushing small trolleys from where a delicious smell spread. I felt my mouth soaked, and my stomach groaned with embarrassed noise.

"Can you feel better, Lady?"

"How do you take it now ..."

"I thought that tea and food would make you feel better. You have not eaten anything solid for weeks. "

Eating made me nervous, but at least the rise in blood sugar could cause me to stop this laughable fainting.

I tried to level myself up from the floor, but I noticed the butcher gripping my arm and pulling me easily on my feet. He put me sit on a desk chair like a child and set cup of tea before me.

I took a deep breath while looking at the reddish fluid. I lifted my cup with two hands, leaned my elbow to the table and bowed my nose to the fragrant cloud of vapour. It felt like I'd never smelled anything so wonderful.

"Do you want lemon or honey your tea, lady?"

"No thanks, this is good for this. Why do you call me Lady? "

The butler looked me wonder.

"I need to know your title if you want me to invite you to your honorary title."

"I do not have a title, and I am far away as the moon from the posh woman."

I looked at the butler, and he glanced up at the bread slices he was prepare.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Sebastian Michaelis, Phantomville manor's butler and the young host's personal servant."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Michaelis. I am Hanna Virtanen, woman without motherland, dignity or fortune. "

"Please, just say Sebastian, Lady Hannah."

"It's Hanna, just one H. And not a Lady. "

"I'm sorry, but it would be at an extremely inappropriate to invite you to a first-name basis."

Now this started to get belabour. Maybe it was easier to surrender. If he felt more comfortable calling me Lady, maybe I could stand it, as strange as it felt.

I bury my face in a tea cup. A soft tasting drink flow my tongue and throat down. I had forgotten how good tea could have tasted. Usually I drink the coffee, and I could taste tea just a couple of times a year, if any.

A slight slam wake me out of my thoughts. In front of me there was a plate with bread that was covered with jam and cream.

My stomach mumbled loudly as I grabbed the plate.

The sweet taste filled my senses, and I felt smiling foolishly in the mouth full of bread.

"You should not eat too much, Lady. Your abdomen is not used to food. "

I felt a sense of disappointment, but I realized how wise the advice was. The last thing I wanted to do was to run to the bathroom to vomit.

I gnaw out the end of the bread in small bites so that the delicacy would last as long as possible and I resisted the desire of eat all the available eatable with a couple of gulps.

Sugar got me cheerful, just a little hilarious. I recognized the symptoms of sugar high but I could not less care about them.

Sebastian filled my tea cup again.

I got up from the chair, took a cup and walked to the window. The screen I was open was still open, and the chirping of the birds sounded loud.

My room windows were obviously facing the yard as I view the flowering garden, and the farther the water's ripples. There was a pond or lake there.

In the garden, a hat-shaped figure walked, bent over to the flower beds. Apparently a gardener.

"Who lives in the mansion?"

"Young Master, besides, there are four members of our service team. In addition to myself, cook, maid and gardener. "

"Big house for only five people."

"True. The fiancée of the Earl visits here every now and then, but we are usually here with each other. "

"You invite your Lord to the Young Master. What happened to his parents? "

The butcher looked at me with a strange look in his eyes.

"They died four years ago in a fire that completely destroyed the mansion. The manor was later rebuilt, just like its example. "

I sat down heavily on the window sill and looked at the butler apologetically.

"I'm sorry, it was certainly a difficult time."

"I was not here then. I came to serve the Young Lord only after the disaster. "

He took the empty cup from my hands and lay it with the other dishes on the carts.

"It's best to have a rest, Lady. Being in the stand has spent your strength. "

I followed his advice and laid to rest on the bed.

I followed the butler's figure as he walked out of the door and sank into unconsciousness before the door closed.


	4. Next morning

"Good morning, Lady."

I heard the window curtains pull back and felt the sunlight warming my occiput.  
I turned to my chest and tried to bury my face under the pillows.  
Not yet, never ... I wanted to go back to sleep where I was at home with my family, in my bed, in my own husband´s arms.

Not here in a strange place, surrounded by strange people, a strange language wring my tongue and blurring my mind.

"The young master hopes to see you today after lunch," the butler said annoingly cheerful voice.

I. Am. Not. A Morning. Person.

"Suksi kuuseen" I murmur in Finnish. (Jump in the lake)

"Sorry, Lady, I did not hear what you said."

"Ihan hyvä..." ( Pretty good)

"Good morning to you too, Sebastian," I replied in English, desperately trying to get it now, if not for congenial, then at least polite sound in my voice.

I had to remember that he had probably been awake for hours now, so this was technically no longer morning to him. And if I lay in bed for a long day in clean sheets and got breakfast in bed, the least I can expect from myself is the most basic manners.

I got sat up to bed and rubbed my eyes.  
I noticed Sebastian grinning to glance at me side of his eye, and I start groom my hair, my face redden. My auburn hair was frustratingly curly, and overgrow pixies, it was protude on every aspect of air, and to a few extra ones, whenever it just got the chance. I could only imagine what kind of muddle it was after all the rotating of the bed, what the previous day conversation had caused me.

"Excuse me," I interrupted and padding into the bathroom.

I closed the door firmly behind my back and looked into the mirror hanging over the washbasin.  
The titter escaped my lips. Despite all the silhouette attempts, my hair protude in every direction, in my right cheek I had a pillow sag and even my eyebrows messed up scruffy.

"Real life Sleeping Beauty" I opine to my reflection and sneer.

After using the toilet I washed my hand and dain water to the sink. Infuriating mess, using two taps.  
Whenever the water mixer was invented, I wondered when I was washing my face.

What do I really know about this era?

I've always liked history, but my favorite time of England's history has been the Tudor reign, especially Henry VIII, whose six wife´s life intrigued me greatly.

However, Victoria was a stranger character.

I knew that she was not originally likely to rise to the throne, would she been fifth or sixth in line of succession.  
She get married to her cousin Albert, whom she loved very much. Their family life was legendary, even though Victoria was not in any way fond of children and abominate about pregnancy, parturition and breastfeeding.  
I felt sorry for their nine children.

What else...?

The time of Victorian era was a time of enormous advances and incredible narrow-mindedness. I remember reading stories about couples who were childless ony because no one had told the pair how to make the children. And that the furniture legs were sheate so that nobody could get any unsuitable mind from the bare feet.

I was always wondering if those stories were true.

However, the World Trade expanded to incredible dimensions.  
East India Company.  
Opium war, or were there two of them?  
Electricity, telephone, steamboats.

I wet my hair and coif them with a comb what I found on the shelf.

I looked at my mirror image straight in the eye and started to find my old self-confidence.

I was lost in time and place. Either I was crazy, or this was a reality.  
If I was crazy, no matter what I did. But I could not sit down and blubber. Yesterday's faintings was enough for sign of weakness.  
I had to accept the possibility that all this around me was true and act accordingly. Because, after all, there was no other possibility.  
That's how it worked out, it just depends on myself in the end of the games.  
These cards are played what dealer give you.  
And I decided to learn the rules of this game.

Swim or swamp.

However, did Earl believed my speech was a matter that worried me. I would not believe even myself if the truth is spoken. But I could not do anything about it. I could either try to lie, but what would I say and what impact would it have on the final result? Or I could take bulls from horns and tell a pure and unembellished truth. They believed me or not.

False or Truth?

Truth.

I showed my tongue in my mirror image and went out to the bedroom side.

I walked out of the door and noticed that I was face to face with Sebastian.

I am a pretty long female, 174cm (5'7 ft) barefoot, but my eyes were the butler at chin level.  
He was at least 185 centimeters, and slim and black clothes got his character to look even longer.

"My apology, Lady. I started to be worried, and I was going to check, do you need help. "

"Do not worry, I do not think I'm pass out anymore."

"I did not mean it, Lady. My job is to take care of my Master's guests and help whenever necessary. "

"I think I can use the bathroom my own, thank you very much," I said laconic.

In my absence I had a filled teacup and two brimful plate appeared on the desk. Yesterday's meal, as small as it had been, had awakened my appetite and I stood impatient on the chair.  
The instantaneous complexity when Sebastian trying to pull the chair to my seat, and when I hitching on my chair to sit for myself, ended my victory, and I twisted the chair closer to the table to catch a teacup.

A delicious scent rose from the plates. My sense of smell seemed to be sensitized by starvation, and the aromas of tea, scrambled eggs and fresh bread were daunting.

Between mouthfuls I thought about my future.

My primary goal was to get clear about reality.

The secondary would be to get things restored.  
Either to get back to my time and my country, or if I was crazy and this was just the result of my ill mind, to restore my head.

Third...

Well, it depends on the first and the second.

Let's see how things are progressing.


	5. Chapter 5

When the plates were empty, I sip the third cup of tea and followed Sebastian's movements as he stacked the dishes on the cart.

"Is it suitable to come to Earl's audiense in my own clothes, or can I have something more appropriate to put on? The green gown is charming, but wandering around in sheer nightcloths seems a little flighty. "

The butler straightened his back and consider my body.

"Unfortunately, the women's clothing what can found here are Lady Elizabeth's, and as you have noticed in the night dress, she's much shorter than you. I do not think you could fit on her costumes. "

"So that remaining jeans or dressing gown."

"I do not know what the jeans are, but I think the morning gown is the most appropriate alternative in this situation."

I sighed and light on my second last cigarette.

I moved to the window and opened the screen. The adjacent windowsill had a small Chinese pot with a lid. I looked into the jar and found it empty I get it on my ashtray.

I sat on the window sill and wrapped the morning gown around my legs.

I did not wait exited to the upcoming conversation with Earl, and my head hurt a constant English speaking.

"You look worried, Lady. Can I do something for you? Would you like something? "

"Coffee and cigarettes," I said the first things I could think of were the alternatives.

Time machine and aspirin, I thought.

"I see what I can do," Sebastian said, bowing and leaving the room with breakfast cereals.

\----------

I was sitting on a window sill waving my bare feets and gazing out of the smoke when it creaked at the borders of my field of vision. In the morning sun, the colors and smells of the yard, or rather the park, seemed brighter, cleaner and, in the absence of a better word, more overwhelming than yesterday. The sunshine shone through the trees on the brilliant surface of the water, and the swallows burst into the sky.

Shall I go out?

Why can not I, I do not think I was a prisoner here.

Maybe I should stay inside, I could not rely on my fitness yet. Four weeks in the soup was a fact that two meals could not change otherwise.

If I was going to keep myself and survive, the plan did not fit collapse in the middle of the yard just because I overestimated my own fitness.

Food and sleep, the keys to recovery.

I stub out a cigarette and went to bed.

Food done.

Sleep next.


	6. Discussion

_”Empty spaces / what are we living for /_  
 _Abandoned places / I guess we know the score /_  
 _On and on, does anybody know what we are lookin for....._ ”

The familiar words flow out of my lips when I watched the birds fly from the window.

_”Another hero, another mindless crime /_   
_Behind the curtain, in the pantomime /_   
_Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore...”_

Freddie Mercury wrote this knowing he was dying in AIDS.  
He knew he was dying. I do not know about my life.

_”The show must go on / show must go on /_   
_Inside my heart is breaking / My make-up may be flaking /_   
_But my smile still stays on...”_

I loved singing. However, living as a musician's spouse had brought unhealthy self-criticism, and I sang only to my daughter and my own delight. Alone there was no need to care for the highest notes not being entirely pure or if the words got messed up.

_”Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance /_   
_Another heartache, another failed romance /_   
_On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?”_

Do my husband miss me?  
What about our daughter?

_”I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now /_   
_I'll soon be turning, round a corner now /_   
_Outside the dawn is breaking /_   
_But inside inte dark I'm aching to be free...”_

My turn would be soon.  
Would they believe me?  
If they do not believe what's happening?  
If they believe what happens then?

_”The show must go on / show must go on /_   
_Inside my heart is breaking / My make-up may be flaking /_   
_But my smile still stays on...”_

I could not show my sorrow and anxiety.  
Head up, back straight, hands firm.  
Listen carefully to make sure you understand correctly, do not talk before asking.

_”My soul is painted / Like the wings of butterfly /_   
_Fairytales of yesterday / Will grow but never die /_   
_I can fly – my friends...”_

The single sob rose to my throat.

_”The show must go on / show must go on /_   
_I'll face it with a grin / I'll never giving in /_   
_On -with the show- /_   
_I'll top the bill, I'll overkill /_   
_I have find the will to carry on /_   
_On the with the -_   
_On with the show....”_

I heard the door open.

_”Show must go on...”_

\----------

I walked behind Sebastian along the corridor covered with rugs. In my mind, I got some random ideas.

What do I tell him?  
If I tell the truth what's happening to me?  
Do he believe me?  
What kind of man Earl is?  
Sebastian said he was young ...  
If he believes me what then happening?  
What happens to me?  
How do I get home .....?  
I want to go home ......

I sniffle.

Sebastian turned to look at me and I quickly straightened my back.

I bite my lip and swept the tears off my cheek.

"Everything goes well, Lady. You do not have to worry about it. "

You wait when you hear ..... I wonder.

Sebastian opened double doors and walked into the room. Behind the door was a massive desk with a small figure sitting in the backside of the window.

Darn, he is just a child!

I walked closer to the table, and in the uncertain way of greetings, I curtsey lightly and bow my head slightly. Either on had to go even fairly well.

I heard the boy laugh and I lifted my head.

Now closer I noticed at the Young Master was older than my first impression had suggested. He was small and slim, barely my daughters bigger, but his posture and the only visible eyes of his faces tell about information and experiences that I did not expect to find at child.

The boy's right eye covered the eyepatch, and the other, strong blue eye looked at me for appraise.

I pressed my hands into the fists on my sides to prevent them from trembling.

"Sit down, please," said the young man, referring to the high chair in front of the table.

I waved my sweated palms in the morning gown, and sat down.

"Sebastian said you did not remember your coming here. He also told you about your whereabouts and the date that had caused you an unexpected reaction. "

Unexpected really, I thought when I remembered the situation.

"Please, start right from the beginning. We have been curious about you. "

"You will not believe me."

"Let me decide that thing. Sebastian! "The boy called, and the butler came behind his chair, faced towards me.

I took a deep breath and resisted wanting to lift my feet to the chair, armor against my chest.

"I'm Hanna Virtanen. My last memory before awakening here, is when I woke up in my own home in Finland, from my own bed next to my spouse, in mid-June 2017. "

I stared at my clenched hands and waited for the reaction.

On the other side of the table, the men switched a few muffled words.

"Go ahead"

"I have no idea how I ended up here. To this place, time or country. "

"Look at me."

I lifted my eyes and saw the boy look me curious. I was surprised. I would have waited for disdain, disgust or perhaps fear. But he only seemed curious.

"Sebastian, is she lying?

"I do not see a lie in her. Worry and anxiety, apparently, she is convinced that we do not believe her. "

I swallow a piece of my throat.

Did they believe me?

The boy stood up and walked around the table next to me.

"How old are you?"

"36."

"You do not look so old."

It was not a surprise. I had gotten good genes that would became wrinkles, and my hair had not yet been the first gray ones. If the local store had become a new cashier, I dug up the identity certificate automatically, as I knew I look like I was under thirty.  
Smiling just revealed that I was no longer a girl, because the creases appearing in the ocular angles did not appear with a serious face. In addition, I was able to enjoy 21st century health- and beautycare in whole my life, which probably gave me an influence even more younger in this era.

"Can you prove your speech?"

I'll think a moment. Of course, I knew about the future, but what help to say about the World War, when it would not be possible to secure anything in the moment. I did not know anything useful about this moment, and I did not have anything to do with it.

As usual, nervous, my fingers walked in the direction of the cigarettes.

Ah...

I took the box out of my pocket and digged the lighter.

"Can I?"

When boy nod, I stood up.  
The desk had a five-foot candlestick with thick, white candles that were untouched.  
I clicked the lighter and the flame came out.

I heard the boy breathing.

I lighted the candles one by one, clicking on the flame at each candle again.

"Sebastian!"

The butler stretched out his hand and I gave a small lighter to his gloved hand.

"What is this?" The boy asked.

"It's called a cigarette lighter or a shorter lighter."

"How does it work?"

"I can not explain it accurately, but the bottom tank has burning gas that is released into the air when the button is pressed. Rotating the roll creates a spark that ignites the gas "I explained by catching the lightern and showing an example.

"Wonderful widget, and convenient."

"It's better then the tinderbox," I opine and put the lighter back into the box with my only cigar.

We both sat down. The butler stood still, his face in the shadows, but I felt he was looking at me with his regard. I tug collar of my robe smaller, feeling myself little nervous.

"Does this mean you believe me?"

"I see no reason not to believe. Sure, your story is rare, but not unheard of, and I believe that everything has its cause. Your arrival here and at this time is due to something, and the matter will survive over time. "

My posture flop of pure facilitation when my lungs suddenly emptied of the restrained air.

I had believed that they would not believe me, and now I did not want to believe they believed me.

"You just have to figure out how we explain your presence here. Servers do not matter, Itrust them completely and we can tell them the truth. I am sure that they dont tell anything for outsiders. But for others, we have to create a background story. "

"We might be able to tell at Lady Hanna is the old friend of your mother who came to visit," Sebastian suggested.  
"Lady Elizabeth has family related to you from your father´s side so they can not even know all of your mother´s acquaintances. What's more, Lady's accent could be explained by the fact that she has been living abroad for years.

I rubbed my throat and I felt like I was red.

I did speak English, pretty much like the Finns in my generation, but I used the language mainly for reading and my active vocabulary suppression forced me constantly to look for simpler ways to express myself. In addition, I articulate clumsy. My husband laughed at my accent on sober was Frank, angry like German and drunk pure Finnish. If someone heard the Finnish rally driver speak, know what I mean ...

The passage of the steps from the hallway made us all look up.

The door of the library slam open, and the cloud of pink fabric and light curls waved in.

"Ciel .....!" hear sound of a clear voice.

"Lizzie?" The young man said, standing up.  
"What are you doing here?"

"I was sooooo bored and I wanted to meet you. We have not seen it for almost a month, and I was terribly miss you" holler about a 15-year-old young woman.

I leaned back in the chair rather than trying to hide myself in this overwhelming energy.  
The girl found my movement and drew all her attention to me.

"Ciel, who is this woman? And why is she dressed in a bathrobe? "

The young Earl and I looked at each other without words, but fortunately Sebastian saved the situation.

"Lady Hanna is a friend of the Young Master's mother and has come here for a visit. Unfortunately, her baggage happened to an accident, which is why we have had to offer what is in the house. "

The young girl grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the chair.

"Wonderful, I can handle it! I'll take you to Hopkins, we'll buy you everything! You will look gorgeous! Just leave it all to me, this is a unique opportunity. "

I felt powerless around me with a rushing and uninterrupted chirping girl.

"I can not ask for that. And I have no money ... "

"Oh, do not talk about money. You get everything as a gift. I'm tired of dressing up dolls, the right person is a lot more fun! "

Okay ...

"You are a little longer than a mother, and slimmer, but if I get one of my mom´s garments to you, you can come to London with us and take care of your wardrobe! You will look gorgeous in a green taffeta! Oh, I wish I had not agreed to go to visit tomorrow! I would like to bring you to the same time to sewer! "

It felt as if every girl´s sentence had an exclamation mark.

Extravagant kindness began to come to over my power, and I sat back in the chair.

I looked for help asking Earl and Sebastian.

The men had followed the presentation with goodwill smile.

"This solves one problem," said Sebastian.

"True," admitted young Earl.  
"So we will all go to London the day after tomorrow. I have my own things to handle, and in the carriage we get the goods easy to travel. "

It seemed like I had no say for anything, and since I did not find any better option, I keep my mouth shut.

"Ciel, you have to play chess with me!"

"All right, Lizzie. Sebastian, put the board up. "

"Can you play, Lady Hanna?" Earl asked.

"I know moves, but I'm such a bad player that it does not go even entertainment."

"You are welcome to follow our game, but if you want, we can come up with some other entertainment."

"I am quite sure that I can entertain myself very well in the library, Earl."


	7. Small hours

I woke up to the sultry feeling.

I had kicked quilt on the floor, and the sheet was wrapped around me like a strangle wrapper.

I struggle free and sat on my bed.

The sun had risen, but it was only peek out behind tree tops.

The birds circled loudly, and when I glanced at the window, I noticed a deer in the woods on the outskirts of the water.

I removed the sweaty silk nightshirt from my skin by humming.

_”Sä oot silkkii / mun sylissäni /_   
_Niin kuin lämmin vesi, joka lainehtii /_   
_Yhdestä puusta meidät veistettiin /_   
_Päästä varpaisiin /”_

_”You are like silk / in my arms /_   
_like a waving warm water_   
_We were carved out of the same tree /_   
_from head to toe /”_

Soft reggae rhythm flow out from my lips and pull my hips to swing.

_”Sä oot silkkii / mun sylissäni /_   
_Niin kuin lämmin vesi, joka läikehtii /_   
_Sama virtaus, taivas ja maa /_   
_Toisensa kohtaa /”_

_”You are like silk / in my arms /_   
_like a glimmer warm water /_   
_The same flow, sky and earth /_   
_meeting each other /”_

I lifted my hand to the ceiling and gave my body a flow like a liquid to the music.

_”Kun mä kerron sulle, mikä saa mut syttymään /_   
_Mikä saa mut näihin tansseihin jäämään /_   
_Enkä pois täältä mielelläni lähtisikään /_   
_Ellen pääsis sua kotiisi viemään /”_

_”When I tell what makes me turn on /_   
_What makes me stay in this party /_   
_And I wouldn't like to leave willingly /_   
_If I couldn't escort you back home /”_

That's where singing was just fun for me, dancing I knew.

_”Dekin takana mun lemppari DJ /_   
_Ja se soittaa meille vain hyvii biisei /_   
_Enkä vois toivoo parempaa /_   
_Seuraa /”_

_”My favorite DJ is behind the decks /_   
_and he is playing only the good tracks /_   
_And I couldn't wish for a better /_   
_company .... /”_

Three years old, I start childballet, next the adult ballet. As a teenager, I accepted that I was too short and curvy ballerina, and I switched to a competitive dance. I never found a couple that I could really compete with, but I was still in the event for more than ten years.

_”Sä oot silkkii / mun sylissäni /_   
_Niin kuin lämmin vesi, joka lainehtii /_   
_Yhdestä puusta meidät veistettiin /_   
_Päästä varpaisiin /”_

_”You are like silk / in my arms /_   
_like a waving warm water /_   
_We were carved out of the same tree /_   
_from head to toe /”_

Severe pregnancy, even more difficult childbirth and uterine discharge associated with it, resulted in the ending of the sport. I was not in the physical or mental state that I wanted to use more than twenty hours a week to repair damage and restore fitness that would probably never come back. Or let me take time to my family, which was the most important thing in the world.

_”Sä oot silkkii / mun sylissäni /_   
_Niin kuin lämmin vesi joka läikehtii /_   
_Sama virtaus, taivas ja maa /_   
_Toisensa kohtaa /”_

_”You are like silk /in my arms /_   
_like a glimmer warm water /_   
_The same flow, sky and earth /_   
_meeting each other /”_

When my daughter was one year old, I still desperate wanted to dance, so I went to the oriental dance classes.

_”Ihan kuin oltais tunnettu aiemmin /_   
_Voi olla, et mä vain fiilistelin /_   
_Löysin jotain mikä sytyttää /_   
_Mun lemmen /”_

_”It's like we have known each other before /_   
_or maybe I just got carried away with my emotions /_   
_I found something what turns /_   
_my loving on /”_

I felt at cosy right from the first lesson. My teacher was an excellent woman who shared with me a pride of femininity and sexuality and taught how to use it with dance techniques.

_”On kello kolme ja musiikki vaimenee /_   
_Aikansa kaikella, niin se vain menee /_   
_Nyt on aika, mun maljani täyttyy /_   
_Ja yli läikkyy /”_

_”It's three o'clock and the music is fading /_   
_Everything has it's time, that's how it just goes /_   
_Now it's time for my bowl to fill up and /_   
_spill over.../”_

Hips movements, sway, circulations. Sharp pelvic lifts, tensioning of the abdominal muscles to create snake movements. Hands that imitate flowing water.  
I felt like melted lava, hot and burning.

_”Sä oot silkkii / mun sylissäni /_   
_Niin kuin lämmin vesi joka läikehtii /_   
_Yhdestä puusta meidät veistettiin /_   
_Päästä varpaisiin /”_

_”You are like silk / in my arms /_   
_like a waving warm water /_   
_We were carved out of the same tree /_   
_from head to toe /”_

I let the music rhythm slide in my body, my skin flow like mountainstream. There was no fear, no anxiety. There was only music and my body that responded at every rhyhm.

_”Sä oot silkkii / mun sylissäni /_   
_Niiin kuin lämmin vesi, joka lainehtii /_   
_Sama virtaus, taivas ja maa /_   
_Toisensa kohtaa /”_

_”You are like silk / in my arms /_   
_like a glimmer warm water /_   
_The same flow, sky and earth /_   
_meeting each other”_

I am a woman who enjoys her body. I know myself, and I do not ashamed of anything I am or what I want. The brush of silk on my skin made me hunger to touch. Lips on my neck, fingers my waist.

_”Käsivarsillani aaltoillen /_   
_Niin kuin aallokko vaahtoinen /_   
_Vuoteessa allani hikoillen /_   
_Iloiten /_   
_Vuorotellen vuoksi ja luode /_   
_Lisää tuntemuksia tuoden /_   
_Kunnes sarastaa ja koittaa huomen /”_

_You are waving /_   
_like a foamy surge in my arms /_   
_On the bed under me sweating /_   
_and rejoicing /_   
_Alternatively flood and ebb /_   
_bringing more feelings /_   
_Until the dawn and becoming of tomorrow /”_

The words, and my movements, made me excited. I felt tightening in my stomach, I heard how blood rush in my ears.

_”Sä oot silkkii / mun sylissäni /_   
_Niin kuin lämmin vesi, joka lainehtii /_   
_Yhdestä puusta meidät veistettiin /_   
_Päästä varpaisiin /_   
_Sä oot silkkii / mun sylissäni /_   
_Niin kuin lämmin vesi, joka läikehtii /_   
_Sama virtaus, taivas ja maa /_   
_Toisensa kohtaa /”_

_”You are like silk / in my arms /_   
_like a waving warm water /_   
_We were carved out of the same tree /_   
_from head to toe /_   
_You are like silk / in my arms /_   
_like a glimmer warm water /_   
_The same flow, sky and earth /_   
_meeting each other.../”_

(Silkkii/Jukka Poika transl. lyricstranslate.com)

The door thump behind me.

I turned to fright and I heard the quiet steps recede in the corridor.

"Dance like no one is watching," says proverb.

There is no mention of the voyeurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are curious about my dance, take a look at Morgana's performances on youtube. She is my rolemodel.


	8. Chapter 8

"Good morning, Lady," I heard Sebastian say about an hour later.

"Morning," I shout shrilly from the bathroom.

Sleeping had not come into question, so I decided to give up my curiosity and test bathtub. The enormous basin seemed to be filled forever, but the feeling that brought dip to warm water was worth the wait. The scented bath salt of the verbena I found in the shelf finished the sense of sensation while staining the water with pale greenishness and filling the room with sweet citrus aroma.

I breathed deeply and drew my legs to turn more hot water into the tap.

"Do you want help?" I heard Sebastian ask.

I was tempted by the idea, but I refused.

"I'll come right away," I shouted and tug the bung out of the tub.

As the water was sinking, I used a jug with a shower substitute and rinse the fresh scented fluid out of my skin. I knew that the British wash themselves in bathing, but for me the bath was a place to relax, and the washing itself was handled somewhere else.  
In this case, the Finns are similar to the Japanese. Another similarity between our peoples is that we do not wear shoes inside. The idea of using the same footwear for indoor and outdoor seems, in the beginning, unclear. The shoes are left at the door, and inside are walk with socks or slippers.

When I was here, I had walked barefoot, but as long as tomorrow my clothing problem gets out of the agenda, I should learn to put my shoes on my feet as soon as I wake up.

I did not look forward to it.

I wiped the towel around and dried my hair anotherone while I walked from the bathroom to the bedroom.

A familiar, mellow fragrance was emanate in my nose.

"Oh, coffee!"

"I hope this meets your expectations, Lady," Sebastian said, worried about.  
"Nobody in this household does not drink coffee, so I hope I had prepared it well."

"As long as it does not eat spoons, then everything is fine."

I got a wondering gaze the reward of joke. There is clearly not read at Garfield. However, Jim Davis did not give birth the character until aften fifty years ...

I tossed my hairdryertowel into the bedrock to dry, and sat down at the desk to dine.

Dark, aromatic coffee swirled in the cup and golden bubbles accumulated in the center of the liquid from the spoon's spin. The cream swirled in spirals with a dark brown drink until blended and left behind a soft fawn liquid that called to taste.

"Sebastian, you're a lifesaver," I said after the first sip. "This is wonderful."

"I am glad that lady," the butler said, and laid on the table of the metallic box.  
"I hope these too will please you."

I opened the box with curious.

A 15x30cm box was full of hand-wrapped cigarettes with no filters.  
I lifted one of my nose and inhale deep.  
A strong tobacco flavor filled my lungs and got my senses sharpened.

"Where did you find these?"

"What kind of butler would I be if I could not fulfil desires of Phantomhive's guest?"

...............

After food I walked to the wardrobe.

I was tired of wandering around in the morning gown like a poor novel´s mistress, and I missed my own clothes.

I threw a towel around me on the bed and bowed to delve my outfit.

"Sebastian, is it permissible at I go to out?" I asked as I wore my underwear.

"Of course, Lady. Do you want me to introduce you to the garden? "

"It would be nice. I would also like to see the lake that is visible from my window. Can I swim there? "

I groan when I was bind the pad of bra. With normal tension the bras were too loose, but the next made a little tight. Light bow, and breasts in the cups.

"I think it's possible. There is stairs in the water, and the water is pure. "

The jeans were still clinging to skin, and I swung my hips to get my trousers pulled up.

Belt tight, then bright red shirt.

My socks were lost.

I was already asking about them until I got my shoe checked. Both boots had one wrapped black sock.

I sat down to the side fo bed to pull the socks and shoes on my foots.

As I walked in the thick denim fabric, I felt more familiar and confident. I was able to move freely, without wrapping fabric around me.

The coat would be a waste of time in such a warm weather, and I did not need get anything except cigarettes. I comb my hair fast, and filled my empty box with new cigarettes.

"Well, let's go?" I asked Sebastian, who had collected breakfast dishes and wet towels on the carts.

...................

We hardly out of the door of my room as the three person rushed along the corridor in a terrible hurry.

"MOUSE!!!"

"Do not let it run away!"

I frozen in place, and the little creature lurked behind me.

"Stop!" shout Sebastian, and got the first girl in the black and white uniform stumble in her feets.

"What are you doing?" I asked, and I picked up from the neck the little creature what shaking of a fear.  
"This is just a mouse, and almost scared to death."

A long, stocky pale-haired man helped maid on her feet and looked at me from the rush to the heel.

"Just a mouse, yes, but where is one, there is usually more. They smashed the telephone lines and messed in the kitchen, and they could not be killed in any way. "

I lifted my mouse on my palm, still holding the neck and started walking down the hallway toward the staircase.

"Let's get this poor thing in the yard at least. It has been able to get shocked enough for a single day. "

"Why dont you get a cat here?" I went on.

"Why would we get it?"

"The cat should easily mice and other pests under control. In addition, they keep themselves clean and are very beautiful creatures. Few things make you feel more relaxed than petting a purring cat in your lap. I love cats, "I said to a young, fair-haired boy who walked beside me in the staircase.

"I like more dogs," the boy replied.

"You can not argue about the matters of taste, but if I want someone run after me and look adore at me, I get a man," I laughed.

At the outside door I left the pip-squeak in my hands and watched it scuttle under the nearby rose bush.

"In my homeland is saying: Dogs have hosts, but cats have servants. I think it is very correct, for dogs are essentially servants. They do not, except for a few exceptions, are happy unless they have a defined function and status. Cats, on the other hand, do not take orders from anyone, but walk their own paths. Both literally and inside their head. Hardly anyone can say to know what the cat thinks. "

I turned back inside.

I stepped over the doorstep until I realized no one followed me.

"Well, what now?" I turned to questioning.

"In your homeland?"

"Where are you from?"

"Who are you in fact?"

The trio stood in the doorway and looked at me like a ghost.

Sebastian came to me.

"It might be time to explain a few things. Come inside, all of you. "


	9. Chapter 9

I sit on the stair railing, left leg raised over right. Maid, Mey-Rin sat on the stairs next to a small gardener, Finny. The burly blonde, Bard, was standing opposite to the other railing, staring at me with determine.

"So you have come from the future?" He asked.

"Yes, exactly, I will be born in 91 years, in a country that does not exist at this time. Finland is now still Grand Duchy of Russia, which will become independent in 1917. In the year that I was moving here, celebrated the 100th anniversary of my country's independence. "

"This is hard to believe."

"Guess what I felt when Sebastian told the date," I snapped back.

I had begun to accept the current situation, but I did not want to give too many opportunities for doubt. Because of my mental health.

Suddenly the front doors slam open.

"SEBBY-CHAN !!!!"

I startled, and I stag backward from the stair railing.

Next to me, Sebastian quickly captured me in his arms to prevent me from falling off.

"What are you doing, Woman?! Why are you so close to my Sebby! "

It felt like a vermillion landslide would have struck me.  
In the next instant, I was pressed against the stairs, a rock hard hand crushing my throat.  
I saw only the massive mass of bright red hair and the piercing green eyes before the lack of oxygen began to blur my eyes.

"Let me go-ouch ....." I croak.

My other hand had been trapped, another invader kept tight in his grip. I could not even kick.

"GRELL!"

"Let her straight away, crazy!"

The weight was suddenly torn away from me, and I gasp air in my lungs wheezing.

I saw the invader was nailed against the wall, Sebastian's forearm over his throat.

"Lady Hanna is a visitor of Phantomhive´s manor," Sebastian said to the red-haired character.

"It does not explain why you embrace her! Why do not you ever capture me on your arms, my dear? She is just a human, not even very young and pretty. "

Hey wait a second, now that going to personality!

"Because I also have my standard requirements."

"Aww, you're always so mean to me," the redhead laughed theatrically.  
"I will forgive you if you kiss me."

I started to laugh, despite my pains. That redhead was something of its own class.

Sebastian looked at me and ease off from an rusty invader.  
At the same moment, he stepped forward and grabbed the butler´s waist.

"Oh my darling, I knew that ....."

In the next instant, the redhead fly through the hallway and slammed against the opposite walls so that the chandeliers were shaking.  
Somehow there fly a bunch of knives that nailed the attacker's wall like a crucified.

I yelp in fright, and Sebastian turned to me.  
Even from this distance I saw how his eyes changed to shimmering purple red and the pupils narrowed like a snake.

Okay, now we got far too excited.

Horrified I step backwards, just wanting to escape as far as possible.

"What is happening here?"

Earl stepped into the hallway obviously enraged.

"We were discussing when Grell invaded and attaced to Lady Hanna," explained Bard.

"Then Sebastian saved the lady," Mey-Rin breathed .

Jaarli watched all of us all, and saw my horrified face and escape ready position.

"Sebastian, Lady, come to the library. You other, unplug Grell from the wall and throw him out. I do not want to look at he in my home like a painting. "


	10. Chapter 10

"So, is Sebastian the demon whom you have contract?" I ask brushing my temple with a cool whiskey glass.

To be a underage person´s mansion, the bar cabinet was well equipped ...

"And who is this Grell then? Grim Reaper? "I laughed.

"Well, when it came to topic ..."

............................

I was sitting in a window on my room, smoking.

I had thought my life had become interesting after I woke up from this room, but I started to think that I had no idea how interesting things were in reality.

Sebastian was a demon.

Grell was a Grim Reaper whose task was to collect souls from dying.

My host had contracted for his soul.

I was a time traveler.

Demons, gods of death, angels.

Next, I'll probably find out that Finny is a goblin.

I was hoping I would have taken a whiskey bottle with me.


	11. Chapter 11

Late afternoon I got enough to sit in my room and brewing my thoughts.

I went downstairs, and trace the murmur in the kitchen.

In a cozy, and surprisingly new-looking kitchen, a cheerful companion was cooking a dinner.

The chatting stopped like a cut when I came in.

"Do not be quiet for me”, I said, and walked in.

"I long for association, and something sensible to do”, I said as I pulled a potato bowl and knife into my hands and sit down at the edge of the table.

"But Lady, you can not do the kitchenchores”, muttered Mey-Rin.

"Listen, darling, I'm far away from noblewoman. And I can, and I do”, I said when I start peel of potatoes.

"And please, just invite me to Hanna. At least when we're together. Lady starts to come out from the ears. "

The service team soon forgot their embarrassment, and a hearty murmur filled the room as they asked me everything possible between the earth and the sky.

It turned out that Bard was a former soldier and very interested when I telling him about the World Wars. My lively performance on the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bombs - the knife and the potatoes properties- came to end potatobombs jumping over the floor, and the general outburst of laughter.

Mey-Rin was fascinated by my clothing.

"Is not it inappropriate for your legs to be seen around?"

"Not in my time. The jeans were originally the workingtrousers of agricultural workers, but when the public saw their durability, they became very popular among all ages and the sexes”, I explained. "Originally, these pants were stained with indigo in dark blue, but this black is also popular in my time."

"I would never go around, the legs and the hips so clearly visible”, maid blushing.

"Time changes, and fashion with it. Again, I'm annoyed by the idea of a dozen of petticoats and bolt of fabric around my legs”, I replied.

"Of course I have to adjust, as Elizabeth told me yesterday to take me for tomorrow's clothing shopping. She seems to like me as a doll that can dressing however she wants”, I remember.

I took a deep breath.

Merry association in the kitchen had made me relax, and remembering the next day trip to London made my mind moody. I did not want to leave the manor safe, even though Grell's visit had proven how untrustworthy that security was.

In addition, the idea that I would end up with a teenagegirl´s fashion doll made my mind tremble.

And I was not sure I wanted London.

The depictions of the era were not flattering, and Dickens' time scenes and the Penny Dreadful series were not attracted to closer acquaintance.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you miss me?  
> I got inspiration from the story of Noah's ark, and spent two days nose at the keyboard.  
> I do not know if metaphor works in English but you probably know what I mean.  
> When I closed my laptop last night, I found at I was written 21 pages.  
> Short, small story stub ...  
> I am sure that you would like to read something naughty.  
> Little smut and stuff, maybe a little lemon ...?  
> Beg, and you will be given.  
> Maybe Sebastian learned it at some point ...

The next morning my room was filled with laughter and thumps.

Mey-Rin had come to change my bed sheets, and the situation had evoked a vehement cushion war.

The projectile what I thrown in was subtly past the maid, and hit straight on Sebastian´s chest.

"Miss General, we have a unwanted casualty!", I giggling from the bed.

"Lady, Mey-Rin, what does this mean?" The butler asked tightly, the pillow in his hand.

Maid redden and rubbed dirty sheets tightly in her arms.

"Oh, do not blame her, I started this," I calm down and repaired my night cover.

"We got the cushions to fluff on, so it was useful", I grinned my co-fighter, before she run out the door with the washs.

"Miss Elizabeth arrives in an hour, so eat your breakfast so we can leave before noon. She promised to bring clothes to you so that you did not wake up unwanted attention in the city, and dress should be reserved for your own time", the butler explained the schedule for covering the table.

I bury my nose into a coffee cup. Was it necessary to recall.

After breakfast, I sat on the window sill, smoking as usual, when Sebastian repaired the dishes on the cart.

"Are you worried about something, Lady?" He asked, taking a blank cup of coffee beside me.

"Do you want a list in event- or alphabetical sequence?"

“Pardon?”

"I've been somehow accept the idea that I have moved in time and that place. Yesterday I found out that I am also moved to some kind of collateral dimension with demons, gods, angels, and God knows what all, which I just read in books. "

"Grim Reaper tried to kill me, and my host has made a contract of his soul."

"And what worries me most is that, despite all this, I'm scared most at I become fashionable victim of the teenage girl. I must have lost my mind. "

I felt cool hands fall down on my shoulders, and started to rub my tightened muscles. I sighed with pleasure, and lay my jaw down against my chest.

"Your life has turned around. It is natural that you are stressed. You have lost the people you love, your country, even the language you are talking about. But people are survivors. You change as circumstances change, you adapt to changing the environment, you continue to live after death. "

“You”

I realized like a flash the meaning of the word what man used.

The man who rubbed my shoulders was not a human.

I twitch straight and flinch out of his hand.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No you don´t ... “

..................

The scitter from the corridor cut off the troubled situation.

Elizabeth rushed into the room followed by poor Mey-Rin who had loads and loads of bags to carry.

"I´m here!" The girl call out.

"So it looks", I opine and jumped down of the window sill.  
"What did you bring to me?" I continued curiously.

"My mother loaned you a blue walking dress and a matching hat. Then I put on underwear, and a corset, and ... "

"Corset?" I groan.

"Of course, without it can not be", Lizzie looked surprised.

"Now you laugh, but I have never used a corset", I said, holding that garment in the arm's length in front of me.

"No way!" The girl yelp.  
"How is it possible?"

"You would not believe me, even if I told you", I said under my breath, and I started to delve about other bags.

Geez, how much lace to women's furbelow´s can fit.

The pants reach my knee, and tied on the waistband with a ribbon. The camisole was sleeveless, and very thin material. The sleeves, hem and the legs fluttered with flax colour lace.

"And then the corset."

"Fortunately, Sebastian is here, I would not get the stripes tight enough. Wait a minute, I loosen the strings. Now, hands up", Elizabeth commanded.

I string myself in a flax-colored straitjacket, what covering my body from my chest to my lower abdomen.

"Is not that enough, is it have to tighten?" I groan.

"Tosh", my dresser say and turned me face towards the headboard.

“Catch.”

I just wanted to open my mouth question when I felt hands cling to the corset ribbons and pulled heavily.

The air blew out of my lungs as a painful puff, and I clung to the bedside in a spasm.

"I think this is enough", I heard over my ear´s chirping.

The ribbons were tied to the bow, and my cramped fingers were removed from the head of the bed.

"Well, it was not so horrible?" I heard Elizabeth ask.

I breathed the test as deeply as possible.

Ringing the ears came easier when oxygen fill my lungs.

After all, breathing was not terribly complicated. The worst felt in the stomach, which had tightened in the bone and fabric frame as a tight package.

It should not have eaten so much.

I got up and walked a few steps.

It felt as if I had an exoskeleton that kept my back straight and my posture good.

Maybe this could get used to it.

I bend on a test.

I do not have even hope to touch my toes.

On the sidelines I could not bend my body at all.

What about a rotation?

Hmm, yes.

Then I gave up my curiosity, and opened the mirror door to the wardrobe.

"Oh my gosh!"

My figure had changed completely. The corset had bent my waist narrow, and emphasized the curve´s of my hip. A thick fabric lifted my breast higher and got the front to look full.  
I turned sideways, and I looked at the vault of my back and the roundness of my bum.

"I look good," I said aloud.

"Yes, the corset is an excellent garment," Sebastian said and kept volume of the dark blue fabric in his hands.

"If Lady kindly stepped here ..."

I began to understand why the number of servants in the houses fell sharply at the same pace as the zipper made-up.

The underwear were the only ones I can dress in without the help of the outside, and if only dressing in a simple (in Lizzy's words) walking suit was such a wicked number of buttons and ribbons, there was a need for auxiliary assistance.

I was afraid of the moment I was going to dress in a gown ...

Or to get out of this wedding cake and bird's cage crossover from my own.

Without help I would probably sleep in these clothes.

When I looked at the mirror, however, the sight was quite charming.  
The dress had half-long sleeves, and cuffs with same coloured lace.  
Square neckline was bordered by the same lace. The needlework of the front imitated the bones of the corset, and ended in a sharp picot altitude of my groin. In front of the skirt was a darker blue folding, that brought to my mind curly curtains, and a small bustle on the back that enhance the corset's expression on my butt.  
The skirt ended slightly above my ankles, apparently to her rightful owner full length.

My foots was hopelessly too big for the shoes I had with Elizabeth so I had to indulge in my boots, despite Lizzy's frustration. Fortunately, they were black, and therefore they did not seem too much.

Then there was a hat ...

The dark blue straw hat was soaked with so full of bloom, ruffles, and shoulder-lenght veil that I doubted the aerodynamic properties of that spit in my mind.  
My lucky, that thing was supposed to be tie to my head with a hat pin, and I did not have enough hair to chignon. 

Something good in that.

"But you can not go to town your head bare!" Lizzie lamed.

"Have any ideas?" I replied.

"We can not wait two years for my hair to grow long enough for the bun."

"Let me give a advice" Sebastian said and took the hat in his hands.

He grabbed the veil from the brim, and wrapped it in my head so that the lace edge shaded my eyes and the ruff was run down my back.  
Some hairpin bind all the pomp, and even though my own feelings system seemed to be both hordal and awkward, my appearance was approved by others.

Lastly, the blue velvet bag where I put my cigarettes, and we were ready to go.


	13. In London

The journey to the city was an ordeal.

I had reserved the window seat as apretext for my smoking, and that I did not want to smoke others.  
Unfortunately, my chainsmoking did not restrain lady Elizabeth' at all and finally I start staring out the window and murmur approval whenever she paused for her endless flow of pajamas and panties what I needed.

If she really wants to spend money and gets pleasure from my dressing up, then ok, but do I really need three morning dress?

And walking suits, visit dresses, riding skirts (I can´t even ride), at least two evening dresses, one for the balls and another for opera and similar occasions, and hats, sun umbrellas and shoes, and what hells I did not even recognize.

My head started to hurt, and I was almost relieved when the forests turned into stone houses.

Finally the wagons stopped at the edge of a busy traffic street.

Hopkins' Tailor Shop - the plaque of the business premise tell.

Enthusiastic chirping Elizabeth pulled me out of my hand in the shop where a brunette woman with a swinging sidelock walked against us.

"Miss Elizabeth, how lovely to see you again in my shop!"

"Oh Nina, we need your skills so bad. Here's Lady Hanna, my groom's family friend. Her baggage was a terrible accident, and now we need her everything. She has nothing else but clothes over her."

They pull me into the middle of the room and stood up like a mannequin when two energetic women bustle around me.

"Absolutely green, with that skin and hair you can not think ..."

"I think that dark blue wore her well too ..."

"Terribly when she is tall. Should I charge an extra for a hemfabric? "

"Do not even talk like that, Nina!"

"I'm just a joke ..."

Finally, I closed my eyes and submit my part.

Except for one deviant.

“NO!”

"But pink is so cute colour," Lizzie breathes.

"This is the only thing I do not agree with. I. Dont. Get. Dressed. Pink. "

"But pink is my favorite color in my clothes."

"Honey, you're blond. And you are also young, almost a child. I am just more than two times older redhead. In pink I would have a tragicomic sight, and horror for the color eye. "

Fortunately, the seamstress shared with me.

"Miss Elizabeth, Lady Hanna is right. Pink is the color of young girls. We mature women are at our best in strong colors. Besides, it would be waste of my skill to make a garment that will not be used because it is a repulsive color for its owner. "

I thanked the seamstress for a smile, but my appearance soon changed into consternation.

"And then take off so I get the ladys size."

Nina Hopkins grabbed my arm and nursed me toward the curtain at the end of the office.

"....help...."

I heard Sebastian chuckle when he and Earl left to deliver their own affairs and left me to the mercy of two women.

A tedious two hours, full of measuring, jostling and browsing came last to an end with a cubit-length list of stitching suits, three dresses on a shelf, one of my reliefs buttons in front, huge pile of lingerie and nightgowns, three corsets, petticoats on the hoops and without and a dark green hat with a mid-back long veil.

The clothes seemed enough for the needs of three women.

Shoemaker took measurement of my feet when Earl and Sebastian returned from their own trips.

I sat in a stool, stunned, when a gray-haired man bemoan my unwomanly-sized feet when I heard the door bell shake.

Both men looked worried. Obviously things had not gone as expected.

Lizzie did not notice anything strange, just chattingwith the seamstress about the differences between the venice- and bryssel lace, but I noticed Sebastian's gloomy look and answered his gaze questioningly on my own.

I lifted my eyebrow and tilted my head, asking an explanation.

Sebastian closed his eyes and sighed.

Apparently, the matter did not belong to me, or I would know later.

Something had happened, and it was not pleasant.


	14. Way back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know that Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical got its premiere not until in 1989.  
> But this is fiction, right?  
> And my story of Noah's Ark is now translated and ready to be read.  
> Enjoy!

The journey back to the mansion went quietly, almost sinister.

Elizabeth had left her home from London on her own carriages, so when we came back to Phantomhive we were just me, Earl and Sebastian, when Bard was sitting in a foretop.

I looked at the dusky landscape of the window, and I listened to the side of the men's conversation.

"Undertaker said the woman had been killed with a double-edged knife."

"Apparently, she was kidnapped by the Opera Balls. After the occasion nobody saw her. "

"What opportunities do we have to find out the culprit? We needed a woman who was ready to consent for a bait. But who? "

"Sebastian, should you ...?"

"Absolutely not, Young Master. I do not look good in dress. "

I laughed at my thoughts. Long and slender Sebastian would not be plausible in the dress, without a lot of fillings. Hardly even then. He was too manly, and it was hard to believe anyone was so foolish.

"What other opportunities do we have?" Earl continued half-heartedly.

I lit the cigar and turned to the others.

"I."

"What do you mean, Lady?"

"You cleary need a help from a female person. I'm not incapable to defend myself, and I can use my brain and improvise as needed. And if it comes to catching a criminal, I want to do my bit. If I can pay you this way, even a little bit of your hospitality, I will not miss the opportunity. "

"What else would I think I'm wearing a dress more plausible than any of you," I continued laconically.

Sebastian was amused with my words, and even Earl, whom I had just not smiled, seemed approbative.

"We're going to keep talking with dinner, as long as we get home."

................

"Would you tell me about the victim?" I asked when I cut my roast.

On the right side of me, Earl sitting at the table and riffle a stack of paper next to his plate.

"Mathilde von Grosson, a German-birth baroness. 28 years old, married three times. Obviously, he arrived in England intending to look for a fourth husband. He was rich in invitations, opera and ballet. Illegal, popular with men. "

"So the so-called happy widow," I hummed.

"According to the type of victim, I must also play a similar role."

"Do you think you can do it?"

"You may be surprised" I laughed and sank my wine glass.

"The victim was therefore caught in the opera's dance. When are the next balls? "

"Today is Tuesday. The next event in the Opera House is on Saturday. The repertory is the Phantom of the Opera, and the balls start right after the show, "said Sebastian, filling my glass again.

"So we have three days to prepare ourselves. Did my evening dress arrive by then? "

"I will send a letter to Hopkins tomorrow morning and ask them to hurry. Do you need anything else? "

"Slightly common practice lessons. I can explain some of my foreigner ways, but the basic etiquette is quite different from my own time. If you could find me a fan flirtation guide, that could be useful. In furthermore, it has been many years when I danced for a balldances. My skills are rusty, so something needs to done about that, "I list up things what came in my mind.

"Ah, and Sebastian, would you find me a couple of things?"

"Whatever you want, Lady."

"I need a razor and a knife. Approximately, this long blade "I said and held my fingers about 20 centimeters apart. "No crossguard, or very narrow one, in addition a suitable sheath and a few leather straps."

"I can do that, Lady."

"What are you doing with them?" Earl asked curiously.

"The knife is for self-defense. Better to be prepared for nothing than a screwed because of lack of anticipation. There is other use for the razor, "I explained to catch the last peas in my forks.

"No thanks, no more wine, Sebastian."


	15. Chapter 15

Undressing feel orgastic.

I had not even figured how the bones, the cords and the seams had pressed and tightened, and when Sebastian help me off the fabric wraps, felt like I was released as a butterfly in the pupa.

I sit down on side of my bed in my underwears to get off my shoes and socks.

"Oh my brightness, I'm so tired," I huffed and threw myself on my back on the bed.  
Tiredness and two glasses of wine made my head humming softly.

"Listen, Sebastian, can I ask you something?" I said turning to my stomach, my face toward the butler.

"Anything, Lady," Sebastian answered, clutching my clothes in the closet.

"You are absolutely free to pass out if my questions are intrusive. Your issue does not belong to me, I'm just curious. "

"Ask for it."

"Do demons have the same needs as humans? Do you need food, drink or rest? "

"I do not need human food. I can eat and drink if I have to look like I eat, but human food does not give me nutrition, and it tastes tasteless in my mouth. "

"How about rest. Will you ever sleep? "

"I just need a few hours a week."

"What are you doing all night if you do not sleep?"

"Clean up, prepare for the next day's work and patrolling the mansion and the yard to make sure everything is fine and you rest in peace."

"What about other people's needs? Not so vital, heat, sex, company? "

"Now you go to the limit of appropriateness, Lady."

"As I said, you will not need to be answered if you dont want to."

"If you give me a order, of course I answer."

"Sebastian, I will give or receive orders only in an emergency or in a bed. And even though I'm now in bed, this situation does not belong to either of the above. "

"In that case, I will use the opportunity you have, and I will not answer."

"Do you need help with your nightgown, lady?"

"No thanks. Good night, Sebastian. "


	16. Night

I woke up at the nightmare.

I had run, running for life with anonymous and invisible fear after me. The doors did not open, the corridors ended in dead-ends, the stairs disappeared under my feet. At every angle I turned I fear hysterically, at It to be in front of me. What It was, I did not know.

At last, the dream let me out, and I noticed I sat in bed, panting and sweating as if I had really run.

Alcohol before bedtime did not clearly fit me.

I lighted the bedside candle with a match, and I went to the window with a candlestick in my hand.

There was still a night out there. The moon was almost full, and the sky seemed to be full of stars.  
The manor was so far away from London that the city's lights were not reflected in the sky, nor the gas or oil lamps of that time, nor did the candles create same quantity of light pollution as electric light.

I did not want to go back to bed.

I dress on my morging gown and grabbed my cigarette with me.  
After I snuff out the candle I left my room.

The manor was perfectly silent.

Everyone was sleeping, just a casual clock bout told the time still move.

The carpet of the corridor was soft under my bare feet, and the marble tiles of the downstairs hallway were cool.

I opened quietly the glass doors to the terrace.

The patios tiles were cold, and they got my toes curled.

The doors of the terracce shutter sounded behind me, and I walked beside the rail.

The rail on the terrace were white marble, like a row of benches divided by waist-high pillars.

I sit down into the pillars and lifted my feet to the bench, back against the pillar.

A stunning scent of roses filled my lungs.

The side of the railing was a rosebed with blond flowers blossoming in the moonlight. The smell was so powerful that it felt as if it could touch it.

The tiny miaow caught my attention.

In tiling, the cat was standing next to me, and looking at me with moonlit eyes.

"Oi kisu, kisu, kisu" I called my fingers hooking. (Oh kitty, kitty, kitty)

I tapped my lap.

"Tule tänne, kisupieni." (Come here, lil´kitty.)

A beautiful animal think for a moment, and then tighten to jump.

Dark furball fall down in my arms softly, scratching, nails sticking to the morning apron to prevent slipping off from the cloth.

"Heippa kisu, oletko yökävelyllä niin kuin minäkin? Etkö saa unenpäästä kiinni? "  
(Hi kitty, are you at night walking like me? Do not you get asleep?)

Do the English animals understand Finnish?, I wonder.

The cat looked at me with her rounded eyes, whose color did not notice from the edges of the enlarged pupils and meowed.

I started to pet the cat, with the long, peaceful strokes. The cat closed her eyes with bliss and start to bake my stomach with her front paws purring softly.

I felt purr in my chest as resonated with my own breathing.

I feel myself pleasantly calm.

Cold marble behind my back, hard bench under my body.

The roses on my left side scented.

Warm and springy cat in my arms, feeling as if it were part of me.

The bad dream had already evaporated in air from my head.

It was just this moment.

The purring of the cat, the moon above me.

A light breeze swirled my hair and caused the cat to swing her ears.

_”Yöllä taas mä menin parvekkeelle nukkumaan /_   
_jotta lähempänä mua ois hän. /_   
_Pediltäni taivas näkyy, ryhdyin oottamaan, /_   
_että näen tähden lentävän.”_

_”Again at night I went to sleep on balcony /_   
_Just that he/she would be closer. /_   
_I could see the sky from my bed, and began to wait /_   
_to see a shooting star go by.”_

The cat looked at me with gleaming eyes and rubbed her head on my chest.

I scratched it absently behind the ear.

_”Sanovat, jos jossain huomaa tähdenlennon niin /_   
_toivoa voit silloin mitä vaan. /_   
_Yöllä ylös taivaalle mä pyynnön kuiskasin /_   
_Kävisipä pian tuulemaan.”_

_”It’s said that if you see one /_   
_You can wish for anything. /_   
_At night I whispered a wish to the stars /_   
_I wish the wind to rise soon.”_

The cat rest in my lap and hummed softly.

_”Tuuli tuule sinne missä muruseni on /_   
_leiki hetki hänen hiuksillaan. /_   
_Kerro rakkauteni, kerro kuinka ikävöin /_   
_Kerro, häntä ootan yhä vaan.”_

_”Please blow to where my sweetheart is /_   
_Play a moment with his/her hair /_   
_Tell him/her about my love, tell how I miss him/her /_   
_And that I’m still waiting for him/her.”_

Over the moon there was a cloudy shred. Suddenly, everything became obscure dark until the wind blew the cloud away, and the moonlight gave the environment a pale glow.

_”Tyyni oli eilen yö, mut kohta kuitenkin /_   
_tuuli henkäisi ja tunteen sain. /_   
_Joku liikkui lähelläni, koski poskeain /_   
_Tutun käden tunsin ihollain.”_

_”Night was calm but finally /_   
_I felt the breeze and I could feel /_   
_Someone moving beside me, touching my cheek /_   
_I felt a familiar hand on my skin.”_

I felt how my throat choked.

_”Enkä enää epäillyt vaan tiesin, että voin /_   
_Niin kuin pieni lapsi nukahtaa /_   
_Ilma jota hengitämme samaa ilmaa on /_   
_Ja jalkojemme alla sama maa.”_

_”I didn’t doubt no more /_   
_I knew I could fall a sleep as a child /_   
_We breath the same air, /_   
_the ground beneath our feet is the same.”_

The cat looked up and swayed at her ears.

Somebody came to the terrace.

_”Tuuli tuule sinne missä muruseni on /_   
_Leiki hetki hänen hiuksillaan. /_   
_Kerro rakkauteni, kerro kuinka ikävöin /_   
_kerro häntä ootan yhä vaan.”_

_”Please blow to where my sweetheart is /_   
_Play a moment with his/her hair /_   
_Tell him/her about my love, tell how I miss him/her /_   
_And that I’m still waiting for him/her.”_

(Missä muruseni on/Jenni Vartiainen transl. lyricstranslate.com)

The cat jumped from my lap and tasseled familiarly to my peacebreaker.

I sighed and turned my head.

Sebastian stood behind me, and the cat, that traitor, walk around his feet and meow like as she was telling her cracks.

”Kenestä laulat?”(Of whom do you sing?)

”Puolisostani.” (My husband)

”Suomen kieli on hankalaa. Teillä ei ole erikseen hän-sanaa miehelle ja naiselle, vain yksi, ja sukupuoli pitää päätellä asiayhteydestä.”  
("Finnish language is difficult. You do not have a single word for a man and a woman, only one, and sex has to be inferred from the context. )

”Minusta taas englanti oli aikoinaan todella vaikeaa, kun piti opetella kaksi eri sanaa kun oli tottunut pärjäämään yhdellä”, I sneer.  
(For me, the English language was really difficult at first when I had to learn two different words when I was accustomed to be fine with one)

Then I realized the fact.

”Sinähän puhut suomea!” I yelp and got to sit upright. (You speak Finnish!)

”Millainen hovimestari minä olisin, jos en pystyisi keskustelemaan Phantomhiven vieraiden kanssa.”  
(What kind of butler would I be if I could not talk to Phantomhive's guests?)

Sebastian lifted the cat in his arms and sit to the adjacent bench, petting with an enchanting purrring cat.

"Tarkoittaako tämä, että osaat kaikkia maailman kieliä?" I asked curiously.  
(Does this mean that you know all the languages of the world?)

"Ei, mutta opin hyvin nopeasti. Laulusi kuunteleminen riitti alkuun, ja ajatuksistasi poimin loput."  
(No, but I learned very quickly. Listening to your song was enough to start, and I picking up the rest of your thoughts.)

Ouch.

"Pystytkö lukemaan ajatuksiani?" I asked worried.  
(Can you read my thoughts?)

"Vain päälimmäisiä. Jos suuntaat ajatuksesi suoraan minulle, pystyn poimimaan ne, ja joskus, jos ihminen ajattelee hyvin kovaäänisesti, kuulen sen vaikken yritä, kuten sinä kuulet ihmisen huudon." Sebastian explained.  
(Your uppermost only. If you direct your thoughts directly to me, I can pick them up, and sometimes, if people think very loudly, I can hear it, even without a try, as you hear a human shout.)

I noticed that he had stopped address me formally.

I sigh, and lifted my eyes to the sky.

”Sinä ikävöit häntä kovasti, eikö niin?”  
(You really miss him, did not you?)

”Kyllä. Yöt ovat pahimpia. Vuoteeni on kylmä ja liian suuri, kaipaan lämmintä kehoa vierelläni ja tuttua kättä ympärilläni.”  
(Yes. The night is the worst. My bed is cold and too big, I miss warm body next to me and familiar hand around me.)

It seemed as here, the darkness of the night, I could tell him whatever, what I carried in my heart.

I dug a packet of cigarettes in morning coat pocket and a lighter one.

"Miksi olet täällä yöllä?" Sebastian asked with a low voice.  
(Why are you here at night?)

”Näin painajaista, enkä uskaltanut nukahtaa uudelleen.”  
(I saw a nightmare, and I did not dare fall asleep again.)

”Täällä ei välttämättä ole turvalllista öisin.”  
(There may not be a safe here at nights.)

I turned and smiled at him.

”Mitä pelättävää minulla on, kun tiedän sinun vartioivan?”  
(What do I have to fear when I know you are guarding here?)

”Nuorella isännällä on paljon vihollisia, jotka eivät valikoi uhrejaan jos sillä voivat aiheuttaa harmeja hänelle.”  
(The Young Master has a lot of enemies who do not pick out their victims if it can cause him a harm.)

”Mitä vihollisia 14-vuotiaalla voi olla?”  
(What kind the enemies could be at the age of 14?)

”Isäntäni ei ole vain lapsi ja arvonimen haltija. Hän on Kuningattaren vahtikoira, harmaa eminenssi, jonka sukuvelvoite on toimia kätenä, joka poistaa Hänen Majesteettinsa puutarhan tuholaiset.”  
(My Master is not just a child and a holder of title. He is a Queen's watch dog, a gray eminence, whose duty is to act as a hand that removes the pests of Her Majesty's garden. )

I sighed.

”Eli siksi lauantain Oopperatanssiaiset?”  
(So that's why saturday's Opera Balls?)

”Niin. Kuollut nainen oli Kuningattarelle kaukaista sukua hänen puolisonsa, Prinssi Albertin kautta, ja Hänen Majesteettinsa vaatii Isäntääni selvittämään asian ilman ylimääräistä hälyä. Rakastetun prinssipuolison nimeä ei saa tahrata skandaaleilla.”  
(Yes. The dead woman was a faraway relation with Queen Victoria through her spouse, Prince Albert, and her Majesty requires my Master to investigate without any extra alarm. The name of a loved Prince should not be stained by scandals. )

”Se tekee tehtävämme vaikeammaksi.”  
(It makes our task more difficult.)

”Miksi kerrot tämän kaiken minulle?” I asked, looking at the butler.  
(Why are you telling me all this to me?)

”Sinun on tiedettävä tämä, koska näyttää siltä, että jäät tänne pidemmäksi aikaa. Voi olla, että Isäntä tarvitsee sinua vastaisuudessakin tilanteissa, jotka vaativat aikuisen naisen apua.”  
(You have to know this, because it looks like you're staying here for a long time. It may be that the Master will still need you in situations that require an adult woman's help.)

Sebastian showed, in the absence of a better word, worried.

”Isännällä on taipumus katsoa ihmisiä pelinappuloina. Hän käyttää meitä siirtoihin, joita pitää tarpeellisina, tavoilla joita pitää tarpeellisina. Mutta hän on myös valmis uhraamaan nappulan, jos pitää sitä välttämättömänä.”  
("My Master tends to look at people as game pawns. He uses us for the moves that are needed, in the ways that are needed. But he is also willing to sacrifice the pawn if he find it necessary.)

I sighed again, and thought for a moment.

”Tällä hetkellä kaikki, mitä minulla on, on Jaarlilta saatua. Katto pääni päällä, hänen asemansa ja varallisuutensa suoma turva. Jos sen korvatakseni joudun käyttämään tietojani ja taitojani auttaakseni häntä hänen pyrkimyksissään, se on minusta vain kohtuullinen vaatimus.”  
(At the moment everything I have is Earl's got. The roof over my head, the security of his position and wealth. If, to substitute it, I have to use my knowledge and skills to help him in his efforts, it is just a reasonable requirement for me.)

 

"Kunnioitan päätöstäsi. Toivon vain, ettet joudu kärsimään valinnoistasi"

(I respect your opinion. I just hope that you do not have to suffer your decision. )

"Loppujen lopuksi, suurin synti tässä maailmassa lienee elämän elämättä jättäminen. Ainakin minulla on, mitä muistella kun olen vanha."

(After all, the greatest sin in this world is probably left to live the life. At least I had memories for recall when I'm old), I said, and gathered my dress.

It was time to go to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

"Good morning, Lady."

I heard the curtains pulled to the side.

"Oh, hell, not yet....?" I thought under the blanket.

I got up to bed and looked at the clock on the mirror table. I had snatched it from the living room tonight, because I felt like an orphan without constant knowledge of time. The slave of the watch...

"I went to London talking with Ms. Hopkins, and I did the some procurement to you. Hopefully they please, "Sebastian said.

I checked the time again. Only eight. What time people wake up right here, if the tailor was at work already six in the morning? Or did Sebastian need a wagon ride for his trip? Maybe he clicked his fingers and moved from one place to another in the smoke puff?

I smiled at myself with my thoughts.

"You seem to have a good mood this morning, Lady. Obviously you got a good sleep. "

"Yes, thank you. Is the last night´s cat living in the manor estate? I'd love to see her again, "I said scrabbling my hair into order.

"I do not know where the beautie lives, but she will greet me every day. The young Master is allergic to cats so I can not bring her inside. "

"Sadly. I love cats, "I yawn.

"I share that feeling," Sebastian answered, pouring my coffee cup.  
"The young Master wanted you to join him for breakfast a little later."

After drinking coffee, Sebastian lowered a large, polished wooden box to the bed. The box opened like a chest with a small key, and I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the silver and glass sheen.  
Gently I lifted the contents of the item at a time to the bed.

The box was lined with blue velvet, and the inner surface of the lid had a solid mirror. On the top layer there was a silver-colored hand-mirror, a hairbrush and two silver combs. The narrow inset had tweezers, small scissors, a nail file and a long-handled spoon.

The bottom of the top floor could be pushed to the side, and underneath there was a selection of cans and bottles.

"I took the liberty to check out what toiletries you used, and I chose scents according to them."

I opened the first bottle. The smell of sweet orange peel came to the room. When I closed my eyes I could almost imagine being in the spring greenhouse, the orange and mandarin trees blooming. Wonderful!  
The next bottle contained a strong, sweet jasmine scent. Rich and full flavor would be perfect for Saturday's opera. Just the right scent to sensual man-eater.

The jars contained moisturizing lotions and flower water for skin care, plus soaps for skin and hair.

Color cosmetics could not be found, and I remember, that making up was something, what no one confessed that they do in a Victorian era. So I need to fabricate the replacement products myself ...

"This is perfect! Thanks, Sebastian! "I smiled all over my face.

"In addition, I found these to you," the butler handed me a package.

Inside the box I found two lace shawl, black and dark green, and two laced fan of the same colors.

"I remember you asked for a fan flirtation guide, so I bought you ... hmh, tools."  
"And I also brought you gloves. Black gloves by strengthening your image of the widow, and they fit with your gown. "

"Oh yes, that gown. When did Ms. Hopkins promised to finish it? "

"It should be ready for Friday morning. There are some changes to that, but I believe it is perfect. "

"Get up, please, Lady. I would think a green linen dress appropriate today .... "


	18. Chapter 18

After lunch we sat, I and Earl both, in the library. The young man sat with his desk and wrote letters, I sat on the couch on my legs and practiced with a fan and a guidebook.

"Open in the right hand - Come talk to me  
Open in the left hand - are you too ... hmm ... minded? Eager? What the devil was willing in Finnish?  
Completely open - Wait for me  
Closed - Do you love me?  
Closed on the right cheek - Yes  
Closed left cheek - No  
Open, then catch up - You're cruel  
A click off - I'm jealous  
Half the face over the face - We are watching  
Handle with Lips - Kiss Me  
Half open On The Lips - To Kiss Me "

Geez, how much is them. And I still had three pages without reading.

Maybe I should just learn the main ones properly. What do I need most likely?

Yes and no definitely.

Are we watching? Perhaps.

Kissing promise? Probably ...

The door opened and Sebastian stepped in with a hearty madam.

"Madame Bright arrived in your dance classes, Young Lord."

I could both hear and see the deep sigh that came out of the table.  
Apparently, dance was not Earl's favorite genre.

Sebastian moved to a gramophone next to the wall.

"Well, today we start walz," said the gutsy lady.

The music started to peal, and Earl settled in front of the lady in the dance posture.

"You start on the right foot forward ...."

There were a few clumps, frustrated groans, and stumbling as Earl stomp to the lady's toes.

I lift fan on my face and laughed silently until water flowed from my eyes.

"Ah, Sebastian, you can show us, please" Lady said with a sigh.

"And Lady there, would you come?"

I wiped my eyes stealthily and stood up. I was still shameless without shoes, but it would not mind the dancing, as long as my partner avoided trample on my toe.

Sebastian stood in the middle of the floor, his hand stretched out toward me.

I curts, layed green hems of my skirt and held it in his stretched hand.

"It would be a pleasure for me."

I set the dance position and got up to my tiptoes.

"Do not hurt my toes," I said to Sebastian.

"Do not worry, Lady," he replied, and spun me into moving.

From the first movement it seemed like we'd always danced together.

His body was falling against me, and I was able to sense the movement in the next direction. Our bodies spoke the same language, we moved like a stream in the same fountain.

When I stopped feeling tense on my toes, I began to detect more.

Heat on his body, a strong grip on my back.

Sebastian's scent of skin, soft, spicy, absolutely masculine.

Damn it, my body began to respond to his presence in a way that had nothing to do with dancing.

At least in the upright position.

I did not know if I was relieved or disappointed when the song was over.

"Well, Earl, that looks like good dancing," the dance teacher educated Earl when I grabbed my fan and sat on the desk next to the chair.

I fan myself fiercely to get the blush to fall off.

My pulse gonna pounding overspeeding rest of the day, I thought, angry at my body's deception.

I looked at Sebastian, and I noticed he was looking at me closely. The man's eyebrows had widened and his nostrils were shriveling.

Damn it, can he smell, that I'm heated? I thought irritably.  
Damn .... Man!

And he still had the nerve to grin for me!

I covered my anger with a smile and turned to Earl.

"Even if you do not enjoy dancing, you can always enjoy the effect it makes for women," I said and smiled warmly to the blushing boy.

"True," continued the dance teacher. "Women like men who know how to dance, and a nobleman's skill in dance is necessary."

"And then we will continue ...."


	19. Chapter 19

Saturday seemed to arrive far too early.

The days had go in the teaching of the etiquette, with the art of fan and making plans.

Luck or unlucky dance classes were left for wednesday, and we decided that I don't take the dance card but to appeal to my widowhood and refuce dancing.

What was definitely good, for if Sebastian really knew how to grasp the uppermost thoughts of my mind, he would have been overwhelmed by his dream. Or nightmares.

I did not have the slightest intention to start any kind of relationship closer to none with anyone, least of all the non-human. As tempting as the idea was.

_”In sleep he sang to me /_   
_In dreams he came /_   
_That voice which calls to me /_   
_And speaks my name /_   
_And do I dream again? /_   
_For now I find /_   
_The Phantom of the Opera is there /_   
_Inside my mind”_

Oh goddess, that in this bathroom was great acoustics!  
I strech my leg to go shave to my calf. The folding razor was a deadly dangerous encrustation, but it drove his case.  
Whenever Gillette comes to the market, I thought when I slid blade over my skin.  
I lower my voice almost of whiskey bass to sing a section of the Ghost:

_”Sing once again with me /_   
_Our strange duet /_   
_My power over you /_   
_Grows stronger yet /_   
_And though you turn from me /_   
_To glance behind /_   
_The Phantom of the Opera is there /_   
_Inside your mind”_

It would be interesting to know how safety razor's market entry contributed to the suicide statistics. More than one throat cutting hung-over would occur, while shaking hands would be such a place of enclosed cutting blade.  
I returned to alto:

_”Those who have seen your face /_   
_Draw back in fear /_   
_I am the mask you wear /_   
_It's me they hear.../_

I had read about the Phantom of the Opera, and seen a couple of different movies on the subject, but today I could get for the first time to see the presentation on the stage.  
I was looking forward to the opportunity. Balls not so much ...

My door was knocked, then I heard somebody step in.

"Lady?" I heard Sebastian call.

"Here, I'll come in moment," I replied and pulled the plug out of the tub.  
I flushed the soapy water, and vinegar what I use in my hair, from my skin before I stepped onto the floor.  
Bard had had a slight twitch when he surprised me when I rummage a food cabinet, looking after olive oil and vinegar, and I had to explain much before he believed my products for bathroom use.  
I wrapped a towel around me, and the second in my hair before I walked bedroom side.

Mey-Rin stood in the middle of the room with a pile of garment in her arms, and Sebastian stood next to the mirror table with a .... Was that a brazier?

"I really hope that what's going on with that brazier is that you use it, Sebastian. I've seen what Mey-Rin can do the dishes and I do not hope the same fate ... "

"Your hair is too short for coiffure, so we curl your hair, Lady. And yes, I'll use the curling iron ", the butler replied.

I sighed and threw towels on the bed end.

Maid's muffled grunt got me to turn.

"What's the matter, did you get something in your throat?" I asked with concern.

"No, just..." Mey-Rin stared at my naked body her face in red.

"Ahah ..."

"Listen, Mey-Rin. I come from a culture where people are used to seeing each other without clothes, "I said, and sat on the bed, rubbing my hair dry with a towel.

"I've been to a sauna with my family and with my relatives naked ever since I was six months old and I was able to sit in washbowl on the lower benches of the steam room."  
"Counted in dozens, if not hundreds times in them, when I saw my vicinity and friends naked, and I can say that there is not a big thing. Only prudish foreigners wishing to go to the sauna or swim in the swimsuit. "

"But when ..." the maid stammered and glanced at the butler.

I started to laugh.

"Do you think Sebastian is attacking me just because he sees me naked? I guess he's already so big a boy that he has seen naked women before. And I'm not ashamed of my body. There is nothing wrong with it. And even if it were, I would not be ashamed of it even then. We are all naked under our clothes. "

My testimony did not seem to work with Mey-Rin, who was blushing more and more.

"Listen Mey-Rin. Sexuality in nudity is a cardinal English obliquity. I start to believe that stories what I had heard about Victorian narrow-mindedness are true, even though I didnt want to. But if it's make your feel easier, of course, I put something on me. "

I got up and my lower abdomen was revealed.

"Oh .."

"Well, what is it?" I looked down and realized what had drawn attention of the maid.  
"It still seems unpleasant, even after all this years," I said, looking at my scar what split my lower abdomen.

"What has happened to you?" The girl breathe.

"I had a forward placenta. My daughter tried to born through the placenta, and we both almost died of bleeding. The scar came about when the doctor cut her off, and at the same time removed the uterus in order to save our life. "  
"It looks worse than it is, and does not feel at all anymore," I comforted the shocked housemaid at the same time when I walked in search of the wardrobe to wear. If my nakedness really bothered her so much, there was no big trouble to calm her.

"Wait a moment, lady," Sebastian said and delve the pile, by Mey-Rin had fallen on the bed.

"With ballgown is used with these," he said and handed me a stack of silk.

Black silky pants were shorter than for use on weekdays, and an undershirt was not at all. The black corset had no suspenders, but it remained dependent on the mere tightening.  
Long black silk stockings hanging attached to the lower edges of the corset suspenders.

I walked over to the mirror table, and I took jasmine-smelled perfume.  
The droplets ankles, knees, between the breasts, wrists and behind the ears, everywhere, where the pulse felt.

I picked up from the desk drawer a small ink bottle, small brush and a piece of blotting paper and from a coat pocket red lipstick and powder.  
Makeup was not completely acceptable in this era, but if the end justifies the means, I use all available weapons.

I sat down in front of a mirror table, and I felt Sebastian's hands in my hair.

Time to prepare for battle.


	20. Chapter 20

While the butler keep himself busy with my hair, I took a hand mirror and a bottle of ink. I gently wiped the ink onto the brush, and start to carefully spread the color in my lashes, holding blotting paper under my eye, so as I do not smudge spots of ink on my cheeks when I blink.

Not quite mascara, but it will do.

I kept my eyes wide open like an owl, so color get dry, and wiped the lipstick top of my finger.

Smoothly tapping I got the color to spread to my cheeks. Not too much, I did not want to look like a hooker.  
Suitably, so that it could be seen, but not to note, as has been said.  
"Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline" I hum slogan for myself.

Next, the powder, which I applied to my face and to my front too. I thought there was warm in the balls, and I did not want the sweatdrops to spoil the impression.

At last, I apply lipstick lightly on my lips.

I kiss my handkerchief so I got extra off, and turned to Mey-Rin.

"Well, what do I look like?" I asked a young woman who looking up me, her eyes wide open.

"It's amazing!" She gasped.

"You are as beautiful as ... more than before. More woman, more glowing, more charming. "  
"Does that mean I'm not the otherwise attractive?" I grinned.  
"Oh, do not answer, I only fished courtesys."

I looked at my mirror image and sighed. I also seemed to be quite good on my own eyes, but the task ahead make me nervous. Would my assurance and intelligence suffice, did I had enough charm and coldness to get the malefactor to seize my hook, without ending in the jail of immoral behavior or beign stabbed like a woman from where it all began.

Sebastian had got groomed my fuzzy hair on curls that bent my ear, neck and forehead. Both temples were Spanish-style sidelocks, who brought a new problem to my mind.  
I had both auricles three holes, with the top two in the golden piercing earrings. The lowest, in the earlobe holes were bare, and was seem by a strikingly empty.  
I touch my earlobe, and I sighed.

Sebastian took note of my sign.  
"Mey-Rin, that red velvet box."  
The butler opened the box and placed it on my desk.

At white silk had set of amethyst jewels; A large tear-shaped pendant, smaller earrings and a bracelet, all planted with gold.

"Oh how beautiful!" I breathed.

The deep purple hue and the shimmering yellow gold glowing with their own light, and light a candle on the table got drops of light what stones facets reflected dancing in silk.

"Can I really use these?" I asked with a bit of anxiety.

"The young Master gave me an explicit order to retrieve these from their vault. Jewelry is not the Phantomhive's family jewelry, but my Master's father's present to his mother, so there is no fear that this would be recognized, "the butler explained.

I took the eardrop and put it in place. The heavy jewel switched slowly when I swung my head, and I stay to look at its folding of the play of light in my neck.

I flinched when I felt something on my chest.

Sebastian had taken a heavy pendant from the box, and was putting it around my neck.  
The chain of jewels was so long that the drop rested at the very top of my chest, reflecting the light on my breasts.

"Perfect," I heard the butler say.

Perfect indeed.

I was supposed to attract notice, interest, and perhaps a little bit of temptation, and what would be a better eye-catcher than a glittering jewel?

I put another eardrop in place, and I took the bracelet into my hand. Spruce-shaped amethysts were intertwined with gold coins, and the jewel was surprisingly heavy.

"Strech your hand, please," I heard the butler ask.

I did as he said, and I feel how smooth-faced gloves were drawn into my hand. The gloves had a long arm, halfway through my shoulder, and the three-inch opening of the wrist was cut down to the clingy with three small buttons.

Sebastian began to bind the bracelet to my wrist, but I remembered something.

"No, put it on the left. And do you remember the knife, which I asked you to get? "

A man put on the table a slim, about 25cm long dagger with a double-sided blade and narrow, just a half-inch crossguard. Not as sturdy as Lapinleuku, but sharp and long enough to be deadly.

I picked up the sheath and straps, and began to draw sheath halfway of my right thigh.  
I got up and checked the tension. I had to be able to move without hindrance, but without the whole system to slip on my feets in the middle of balls.

When the result feel solid, I turned to my evening dress.

Dark violet, a tame amethyst dress was taffeta, shiny and heavy.

When Sebastian got my dress buttoned, I opened the door mirror and looked at myself.

Geez, anyway, I not dare to breathe with this, I thought amused.

The dress neckline was cutted an extreme giving, the upper part of my bare breasts show, and full inhalation of the lungs would certainly make my nipples to pop out.

Against my pale skin, the black lace what lining the neckline was dark, and the beaded tassels, what hang on the lace swirled annoyingly by breathing.  
The suit had no straps, only the top of my upper arms are lied lace bands, and the beads petted my naked skin above the gloves.

Below the narrow waist, the hem spread puffy from the front, and ruffled underneath the rose-like bustle. The dress did not have a trail, but the pleated tail of skirt dragging the ground, and I remember being still in my socks.

"Do you have any shoes for me?" I asked, and saw Mey-Rin tooking the box.

The box was revealed two black, patent leather shoes with straps, where were fair-five-cent heels.

Fortunately, at this time had not yet stiletto, I thought with relief.

Carrying this amount of cloth was hard, let alone concentrate on balance.

I sat down to the edge of bed and tried to put a shoe on my feet, but the corset prevented bending.

I grunt frustrated, and Sebastian kneeled in front of me.

"Let me, Lady," he said, and took my, a thin sock covered foot in his hand.

I startled.

The warm touch was a disturbing sensuality, almost erotic, and I felt my dress pressed me quite differently than a moment ago.

I saw the butler's gaze glinted as he slipped the shoe on my leg and closed the buckle.

I scold myself. If only an innocent touch made me react this way, I was worse needy than I had figured out.

Calm down, woman, or this will be a really long night.

I swung around in exploratory couple of times, and I enjoyed when heavy skirt wawing around my legs.

Despite all the inconvenience, such clothes had something undeniable sensuous.

The final touch, I thought, and I took the dagger from the mirror table. The front of the skirt puff was separate, and I slip my hand under it to find a suitable seam line.

I cut the fabric a six-inch hole, which should be well slipped a hand and the similar hole in same point of lining.

I put a dagger through the opening into the sheath and out a few times to make sure that got it without hindrance.

That is why I had asked Sebastian to put my bracelet on my left wrist. If the jewel would adhere to the fabric in an emergency, it would be the smallest of my worries to break the jewelery or fabric.

The vanity is sometimes nice, but never at the expense of health.

Even in black, decorated pearl purse bag, black lacy fan and a silver cigarette box with a thoughtful butler had gotten me.

The clock was four, and it was time to head toward the downstairs and London.


	21. Chapter 21

Christine and Phantom walked across the stage illuminated by the candles on the way towards the catacombs.

 _”In sleep he sang to me_  
 _In dreams he came_  
 _That voice which calls to me and speaks my name_  
 _And do I dream again for now I find_  
 _The Phantom of the Opera is there_  
 _Inside my mind”_ , sang a beautiful dark-haired soprano.

I leaned my arms on a railing of compramend, and breathed gently, so as not to leave any note without hearing.

 _”Sing once again with me_  
 _Our strange duet_  
 _My power over you grows stronger yet_  
 _And though you turn from me to a glance behind_  
 _The Phantom of the Opera is there_  
 _Inside your mind.”_ , replied the dark, tenor-voiced Phantom.

I breathed deeply, and press my hands together, almost crushing my fan.

 _”Those who have seen your face_  
 _Draw back in fear_  
 _I am the mask you wear.._.”I croon with the words of Christine.

 _”It's me they hear..._ ”rough voice sent chills down my back.

”Your/My spirit and my/your voice in one combined  
The Phantom of the Opera is there/here  
Inside my/your mind....”

I was hoping that I would be a opera glasses, when Phantom enfolded his arms around Christine.

 _”He's there, the phantom of the opera!_  
 _Beware, the phantom of the opera!_  
 _He's there, the phantom of the opera!_  
 _Beware the phantom of the opera!”_ , the choir sang.

The atmosphere was tangible intensive.

Candlelight, the darkness of the auditorium.

People's warmth, delighted sighs.

Charged texcitement that raised the hairs up and demanded releasing...


	22. Chapter 22

The opera was served refreshments in the foyer while the hall was removed seats for balls.

I was in delight, I felt I fizzing like a champagne in my flute, as light as bubbles towards the surface.

I did not thought about balls, I did not care by our mission when I spoke in gestures lively Earl and Sebastian for the glass in one hand and a fan in my other hand.

I had for a moment forgotten everything that was scary and frightening, fled to another world where the only thing was what I saw on the stage and heard from around me.

My mind was filled with only the musical, songs and actors, and I ignored the people around me before I was bumped.

I turned to look kluz, and I found myself looking straight at a gray eyes who viewed my gestalt overtly interested.

"I'm sorry, Lady. Allow me to apply for a new drink to you", the man said, and I looked my glass.

The collision had caused my drink to splash, and with my gloved wrist roll the row of pale yellow drops.

I lifted my wrist to my lips, catching droplets in my mouth, looking at man at the same time between my lashes.

"The cause was as much in me, your grace. I was so ... overwhelmed ... for the performance that I did not take into account my environment. "

I lick my lips and looked at him tightly, smiling gently.

"We are not probably not yet been introduced," gentleman said, turning his gaze to Earl, who followed the presentation a little further back.

"Lady Mannerheim, this is Breston's Count Lucas France. Count, this is the friend of my deceased mother's, Lady Hannah Mannerheim, who is visiting our rainy England ", presented the young Earl us to each other.

I curtsey deep when Count kissed my gloved hardel, and I tried very hard not to grin to my new name. I hope the marshal will forgive me for the abuse of his surname, but it was the only Finnish noble name that came to my mind when we making plans.

People were called back to the hall, and Count escort me to behind of the young Earl to state that had experienced a complete transformation.

The rows of seats had disappeared, and the orchestra pit was covered on the floor, after the orchestra moved to the stage, which was curved into the most intimate space with curtains. Hall's sides had chairs, and white tie-dressed waiters passed among people carrying champagne-filled trays.

Count grabbed subtly a glass from the passer-by tray, and offered it to me gently bowing.

I took a glass with coquettish smile, and take a sip watching him between my lashes.

Flirting was fun, and I had not been able to do it a long time. Unfortunately, I could not concentrate on only one object, even how attractive than he was.

I was here to get the killer caught.

I noticed that Earl had sit on the wall hanger chair, Sebastian standing on his side.

"It was lovely to meet you, Mr. Count, but I must not detain you too long. Hopefully, we will still have the opportunity to enjoy each other's company, "I said, taking the half-open fan on my lips and smiling.

I watched the man's satisfaction, feeling gratification.

"After all, he is already ready to be picked up," I thought, amused.

I have to watch out, or I will have to knock the wooers off the door .....

I turned my back and swung to sit next to Earl.

I watched for a moment the human mass, wawing my fan.

"They're like butterflies. Beautiful, even showy, and for the most part full of empty. If the Count is a typical exponent of his kind, there is no problem to wrap them around my little finger, "I said in a low voice to Earl.

"For another fifteen minutes, I would have let him forswear anything to get a moment alone with me."

The thought made me warm up, and I knew my eyes were radiant for lust.

"Even though they look like butterflies, there is some of them deadly poisonous," Earl remind me.

"Then just keep in hope that my web catches the right catch," I replied.

I breathed deeply and licked my lips to get them a shiny.

"Wish me luck," I asked, pressing my hand for a moment to the young Earl's hand.

Then I collected my dress, and I left with a swinging hips to prey on.

......................

"Oh my lightness, this is boring ..." I thought, laughing vividly for again one Earl / Count / Marquis / whatever's sweet talks.

I had long ago been in flip names and noble ranks, and I ended up calling everyone darlings.

If it worked with Zsa Zsa Gabor, then why would not I.

And if I just said it softly, only for that person, everyone felt that they were special and impeccable.

I swinging my fan banished older gentleman with a drooping double chin farther.

"If he bends down to the slightest yet, he drool directly down in to my neckline," I sigh inside my mind.

The balls had lasted for a couple of hours, and I felt myself like a queen bee -surrounded by drones.

My jaws ached with smiles, and the next of me a poor houseplant had received a myriad glass of champagne in the roof that around me flocking gentlemens were carrying me in turn.

I had been given a slew of suggestions for a more peaceful place transition, countless dance invitations and even two proposals, at least one of which was more than half-hearted, at least judging how disappointed a suitor was after rejection decision.

I was even ready to stab someone for myself, that I may have a moment respite.

My swarm of drones was silent, and I lifted my gaze.

Sebastian's dark figure bowed in front of me, and I stood up more than happy.

"I'm sorry, but the young Earl seems miss my presence", I smiled and blinked my eyes while I grace my breast a closed fan. 

I turned to walk away with a hand lightly on Sebastian's arm.

"Thank you. I was began to be ready for hit someone by myself with a knife, "I groaned.

"I noticed it. Your frustration spread like waves around you "

"Was that so obvious?" I asked with concern.

"No, I do not think they found anything. You are presenting an excellent role of you, if I may say so, "Sebastian said.

I groaned deeply and stood beside Earl.

"Is anything clear?" Asked the young gentleman.

"Is. If the noblemen's really had so little common sense in their head, I feel sorry with all my heart for their wives, " I snapped.

"Five minutes with them makes me yawn, half an hour to grinding my teeth. I have been flattered, enticed, bribed and even proposed to the extent that the softer head then my will came out of her mind, but I have not noticed a hint of the fact that nobody would be ....hmh .... something more unscrupulous in his mind. "

I stretched my legs and twists my ankle as I pondered.

"We have not even got anything clear, and the balls end in an hour," said the boy, sighing lightly.

"I guess I have to continue my work," I groaned and got up from the chair.

I almost hoping I would have a dance card.

Dancing there was need to stand up for only one partner at one time, and the paces prevented the conversation.

I straightened my back and came back to the battle arena.


	23. Chapter 23

"Oh, darling, you say for sure same things for every women you meet," I giggle and slapped a military uniform dressed man a fan.

"No, ma chérie, just for you," the man replied, taking my hand in his hand and kissing my bare wrist in gap of my glove.

I felt his lips touching my bare skin and blood rushed to my cheeks.

I pulled my hand out of his hand and grabbed my champagne glass to get my hands reserved.

I sighed, and start looking at the pale-yellow drink in the glow of candles.  
Bubbles clinging to the lining of the glass rosing to the surface like a string of pearls, fizzing and bursting, rising to the surface like as the drink itself to the head of drinker. A light precipitate on the base dissolved by swinging the glass, creating the new flock of bubbles into the liquid.

Hey wait a minute.

A precipitate.

In this quality champagne?

I continued to tilt the glass and look at the glittering liquid without letting my thoughts on my face.

So, the first move is therefore made.

I leaned back in my chair, and lifted my glass to my lips as if to drink. However, I kept my lips firmly together and did not let the liquid surface touch my lip.

I lifted my fan, and behind it I whispered, calling as much my spirit as my voice:

"Sebastian"

After a moment, a familiar, dark figure stood on the other side of the plant, protected from the direct prying eyes.

I put my glass on the table what circulating a pot of the plant.

”Sebastian, joku on lisännyt lasiini jotain ylimääräistä”, I said softly in Finnish  
( Sebastian, someone has added something extra in my glass)

”Tuo minulle uusi, muuten täysin samanlainen lasi huomaamatta, ja jos saat selville, mitä aine on, kerro. Se on todennäköisesti huumaavaa tai nukuttavaa ainetta, mutta ehkä auttaa tekijän jäljille jos seuraavat toimeni eivät sitä tee.”  
(Bring me a new, otherwise completely identical glass without notice, and if you find out what the substance is, tell me. It is probably a narcotic or sleeping substance, but maybe it will help the find evildoer if my next step do not do it.)

I collected my fan and bag in my lap.

”Yritän houkutella kohteen terassille. Pysy lähellä, tarvitsen todennäköisesti apua”, I continued and turned to the military person .  
( I'm trying to tempt the object to the terrace. Stay close, I probably need help)

"Please forgive me, darling," I said, laying my hands on the man's sleeve.  
"I have to go for the refreshment," I continued on and went to the lounge and the ladies' room, after picking up my champagne flute, which had appeared on the table a bit behind the former glass that was now missing.

At halfway I bended on the other path, and I headed toward the open glass doors through which reached a wide, pottery-lined terrace.

I breathed deeply fresh, the fragrance of flowers filled oxygen, which was like the breath of life after the indoor air which was heavy of perfume and sweat.

I wandered through a large marble deck, with the outsider eyes just walking and looking at plants, but actually choosing a suitable place.

The place need to be hidden from the straight eyes, such that I could not get siege and near the railing.

I tried to think of all the possibilities, and I felt confident when I feel how the straps what keep sheath of the dagger still tightened in my thigh. It would be my last trump if nothing else would help.

I drink a big mouthful from my glass so I could get my breath smell from alcohol, since I had been drinking only half glass throughout all night. Poor innocent plant had been final repository for numberless glass of wine, which would be cloud my mind deactivated a long time ago, if I had really been drinking them all.

A suitable place seemed to be found on the left side of the door, near the corner of the building. The corner was in the shade, on the side of the seats, and behind the low railing there was a drop of a meter in some bush. If I had to flee this way, I would not break my leg.

Fortunately, I loved thrillers.

Soon I would see if my knowledge would help me to survive.

I breathed deeply and lit a cigarette, dropping my bag and my fan on the railing.  
I leaned on the wall, closed my eyes and waited.

.........................

"Very thoughtful of you, Chérie, seek resting place somewhere aside," I heard a low voice say.

I opened my eyes and saw the figure dressed in an epaulette suit in front of me.  
"I was afraid you'd fall asleep in the ladies' room, but this makes things much easier," the man continued walking closer until I separated his face from dusk.

I recognized the faces of my former wooer, and I smiled at him.

"I wanted to spend a while .... more intimately, "I said and stretched out my left hand to his chest.

"I have therefore concluded correctly," he said hoarsely.  
"There will be much more fun of you than the previous one. I promised her the best fuck of her life, but of her -and little bit of me too- harm it was also the last of her life. "  
"Maybe I will not kill you at all, but I will keep you to myself. After getting bored, I can always sell you, even in pound pieces, "the man continued.

I breathed like a startled, even if the confession was not a surprise to me.

"Do not be afraid, my dear. The substance will soon be influenced, you will probably feel your body numbed. Soon, you do not feel anything any more, and when you awaken, we are already far away. "

I rolled my fingers around his knot, and I pulled a man against my body.

I felt how my skirt ascend higher and his hand was inch towards along my sock, toward my groin.

Fortunately, he chose my left foot, I thought as I entwine my shin around his leg.

I pulled his face closer so that I could speak straight in his ear.

"So, you are a naughty boy. Did you really kill the Germanwoman who was spoken in the gazettes? "I asked husky.

"Yes. But she was not as delicious as you, chérie. So sensual, passionate, seductive ..... "

The man's speech stifled when I pressed the dagger's blade into the vein of his neck.

"Sebastian!"

"Yes, Lady?"

"Did you hear?"

"Every word."

The butler stepped forward on the right side, from the deep shadows, where I could have sworn a moment ago was just empty.

"Take him away," I asked, prodding the man farther.

I resisted a desire to wipe my hands on my dress. That ... creature .... made me feel unclean.

And excited.

I felt despised myself because of my show, and not least because I myself felled down of my own snare.

I breathed deep fresh night air to clarify my head and soothe a burning fire inside of my body.

"Sebastian, I want to be alone for a moment. You should tell me when Earl is ready to leave. I have to .... cool down .... a moment, "I said, and went to the garden.

"Yes, Lady," I heard the butler say when I walked down from the terrace to the darkness of the park.


	24. Chapter 24

The full moon shines in the sky large and yellow.

The small park was a kaleidoscope of black and gray nuances, with shades changing and wavering with the wind.

I walked through the dirt road toward the cypress tree, passing the bench where the couple were focused on each others. The susurrus of clothing and the woman's laughing made me smile.

Summer night and the proximity of the opposite sex had affected the other, than me.

But unlike me, they had the opportunity to satisfy their needs.

I could only suffer.

"Its impossible to die for sexual frustration, but it makes you feel damn uncomfortable," I thought leaning on a large deciduous tree.

I lifted my gaze toward the moon, and I stayed silent to listen to my surroundings.

The owl hooting somewhere in the nearby neighborhoods.

Quiet chirr in bushes.

The sound of horses and wagons in the street told that the drivers were in their work.

Something barked at the dog, the sound falling into a painful yelping and angry male voice.

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes.

The scent of cypresses floated around me, blending with the aromas of the perfume and tobacco of the wind.

From the Opera House, there was the sound of a broken glass and a woman's bright exclamation that became laughing.

I was surrounded by the completely darkness, and when I opened my eyes I noticed a moon was covered with a thick cloud.

It felt as if my eyes were covered with cloth.

I did not see anything, I felt only.

The swirling wind of the warm night air.

My excitement, like the film on my skin, my frustrates like a cloud around me.

Signs of movement, the rustle of fabric behind me.

I turned frightened, but I did not have time to stop arms entwined around my waist.

I was pressed against the trunk of the tree, the body against the body, the lips against my crying open mouth.

Thoughts run out of my head when the soft lips moved against mine.

The man tasted the same as lupins scent: sweet, intoxicating, oxygen-supplant.

The light touch of tongue got my senses ablaze, and I leaned against him greedy.

I feel his lips smile for my impatient, and his hand slips over my pelvis to my thigh.

When I felt the man touching the dagger, I felt like cold water flowing along my back.

I had just been in close contact with the murderer.

Now I kissed passionately another man I did not even see!

I must be insane!

My survival instict flame full of flames, and fear forced me to work.

I tried to struggled out, but I got only pressed more firmly against the tree and hands continues to their expedition.

If not good, then bad, I thought when I opened my mouth a little like the answer to the kiss -and I stabbed my teeth through his lower lips, so that I felt the incisors hitting each other.

Fear, anxiety, self-protection, frustration ... All the emotions I felt in last hours were rised on the surface and gave power to the impact I slam my knee upon.  
I heard how my dress tear, but I felt satisfied when I feel the strike hit and listened to the painful breath when the man took a staggering step away and slipped his knees to the ground.

I gasped oxygen and wiped my mouth when clouds glide in front of the moon, and pale light exposing black hair and pain soaked red-brown eyes.

”Perkele!”

"Not quite, but thanks for the compliment, Lady," I heard Sebastian say raspy while he swept his mangled lower lip with his gloved hardel.

I flop to my knees to the lawn in front of him.

"What the hell did you think!?!" I demand.  
"Or did you thinking about anything at all?"

I felt rage and shame.

Rage that he had buckled me, and a shame, because I was so absolutely like it.

"I beg your forgiveness, Lady."

"Apologies do not help much. You will never do it again without my permission, "I whiz between my teeth.

I rose to stand and breathe deeply to calm down.

"Is Earl ready to leave?" I asked.

"Yes. He's waiting us in our chariots. "

I started walking towards the gates, but I turned for a moment toward the butler.

"This is not what we are talking about. Earl does not have to know this, "I said to Sebastian, who followed a step away from me.

I did not wait the nod.

.................................

The return back to manor was quite wintry.

Me and Sebastian were sitting at the opposite end of the bench, looking sternly out of our own windows.

The park events ignorant Earl looked at us both in turn, until opened his mouth.

"Sebastian, what has happened?"

"Nothing serious, Your Honor."

"What happened to you lip??"

"Lady."

The bright blue eyes turned to me.

"He scared me," I replied.

"Lady was surprised by me," was the butler's answer.

Earl looked at us for a moment and then sighed deeply.

"I do not know if I should be disappointed that you, Sebastian, are surprised with so easily. Or should I show favor to Lady, who got so easily through your bulwark, "the boy continued.

I lit a cigarette and I refused to look at both men.

My small desire to speak had evaporated as smoke into the air.


	25. Chapter 25

After arriving at the manor, I navigated straight to the stairs.

"Will you ask Mey-Rin to come and help me," I asked.  
"I want out of this straitjacket, it suffocates me."

"The clock is already two in the night, the rest of the service are sleeping," I heard Earl talking behind me.

"Sebastian, go to help Lady. Then come to my room. "

I would like locked the door behind me, but I knew I would have to sleep in this pile of taffeta unless someone opened my strings.

I stood next to the bed and took off my jewelry when the butler stepped in and began to unbind the buttoning of my clothes.

My skin rose to the goose bump's casual touches, and I felt his hands tremble.

Obviously, I was not the only one who had a problems.

My evening dress slumped onto my feet, and I stepped out of the mass of fabric.

I opened the small beads of my wrists, took the finger of the glove between my teeth and pulled my hand out of the fabric.

I felt how corset loosened when Sebastian pulled the string out of the hole, one by one.

I took off my socks and headed for the bathrooms. I needed a badly cold bath.  
Preferably in the ice hole.

"Lady"

I turned to look, and saw Sebastian standing next to the closed door, the candelabra in his hand.

"Can I do something for the Lady?", I heard him ask in a hoarse voice.

Jos sinä sytyt tuleen  
Tahdon minä olla vesi  
tai herkästi syttyvä aine,  
~ Tommy Tabermann.

(If you turned on fire  
I want to be water  
Or highly flammable substance,)  
  ~ Tommy Tabermann.

I stepped towards him, one step, another.

I felt how he step back away, his back to hit the door.

I stepped closer, I felt his body over its entire length against the mine.

"Carnal relationship with a servant would be the poor thanks for hospitality what your Master had shown for me," I whispered in his ear before I took a step away from him.

I turned my back and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

One of us must have been water.


	26. Chapter 26

The heat of the last days had changed into a thunderstorm when we ate the late breakfast the next day.

I ate chocolate cake while I read today's London Times.

"...this Lady from the Grand Duchy of westerly Russia twist all of males of the opera balls around her cocuetted fingers, without disregarding ...."

"What does "comme il faut" mean?" I asked from Earl.

"Good habits, conventionalism."

I laughed and went on reading.

"The rest of the evening lady was seen in close proximity with Baron St.John, who was coldly dismissed his companion and abscond the end of the night. We can assume that a couple moved to spend a little tête-a-tête moment in some lonely boudoir, as Lady Mannerheim was no longer seen at the end of the balls ... "

BRUUUUMMMM!!!!!

Above the manor, a cracking thunder faze both of us.

I lifted a piece of cake what I drop in my lap and lick my fingers, thoughtfully.

"It seems to me that I acted my role deserving of Oscar."

”Oscar?”

"Academy of Motion Pictre Arts and Sciences's annual award for best actor work."

"We get to see when someone gonna check out, would I be willing to change the companionship of your grace with an adult man. But he, whoever, then, will hit his ax on the stone. I would not change my actual association with any high-class hero. I can act like a brainless chick if it is needed, but yesterday reminded me how painful it is, "I went on.

Earl put down his tea cup on the saucer and looked straight at me.

"I've been meaning to ask ..... You're married?"

"Yes, in the fall, ten years will be full. Together we have been for 17 years. "

"Then how did you can act so well a wanton woman?"

I titter for the diction, but I got serious and thought a moment.

"The answer requires a bit of introduction. During the next century, the world and attitudes will change in ways that have never been seen in history. The mid-1900s medicine developed the product in which women were able to prevent the pregnancy. This pill freed the women shame of an illegitimate child and fear of dying in childbirth, and gave the opportunity to enjoy sex and love. "

"I guess that Earl knows how babies are made," I grinned and lit a cigarette.

"When sex and enjoying life was no longer accurately tied to marriage, became an accepted dating and live together with the representative of the opposite sex without commitments."

"The freedom of the nation can be defined in many different ways. People's freedom to choose their work or their place of recidence. The number of representatives of both genders in managerial primacy. Women's suffrage and the freedom to get whatever education on an equal footing with the male sex. One of the best Presidents in Finland was a woman. But the strongest definition of equality and freedom is the possibility for women to choose their partner, their number, status, nationality, religion and gender. Simplified opportunity to be with the one you want and love, without the society have anything knocking about it. "

"With these examples, the 21st century Finland is one of to most liberal country in the world. We have the same-sex marriages permissibled, as well as intra-family adoptions in which a male or female couple, both parents are the official parents of the child. Divorce is easy to get to, and does not even required for the application of both parties. The only things that the law prohibits are relations between close relatives, minor relationships with adults, and polygamy. Virtually almost all relationships in which both sides are of the age of majority and based on mutual voluntarily are allowed. "

"Sorry, I started to lecture," I asked and shake off the ash at saucer.

"How does this relate to me ... I spent a pretty wild youth. I had many partners, my own aspirations, and a few longer relationships. I spent time in artists' enviroment's, mostly with musicians, and I toured around the country with a few bands. It has always been easy for me to get along with men, and I know very soon what tricks are working at any time. You guys are, after all, quite simple when women are concerned. You just have to figure out what's a weak point, and when it's clear ... the end is done with a little flattery. Who has a vainglorious in their intelligence, who their skills, most of them like when praising their manhood, some of them from the businessman's abilities. The rest is history, "I quit and stub out my cigarette.

"I did not fall in love my husband at first glance. He was dating with my friend, but she dump him. However, since he was a pleasant and social personality, he remained part of our circle of friends despite the divorce. I loved conversation with him, he was smart and wise, but he did not afflict a inferiority complex in his interlocutor. When he needed a place where to spend a night when lift leave him, I did not hesitate to invite him to sleep on my couch. I was living alone then. The next day, he returned to his apartment, only to come back a few hours later with a bag of clothes and dinner supplies. It could be said that he stayed in it. "

I sighed and ignited a new cigarette.

"As long as our relationships are rare in the 21st century, but I was happy with him. He was pleased with me in every way, he filled my psychic, physical and emotional needs, and I hope that I could do the same for him. We did not experience any great, all-encompassing passion. Such a feeling is burning with a hot flame and blaze destroying everything in its path, but burns itself quickly to completion. Between us love ..... was calmer, but in spite of tranquility, or precisely because of, a longer lasting feeling. Like a embers that can be covered with ash, but it still smoulder for hours, days, until it lights up again in flames from the force of wind or tinder. I have experienced both the passion and a true love, and I believe I'm so old and adept at I can separates them from one another. "

I took Sebastian's filled coffee cup, and mixed it, bemused.

"Turn on the lust is a skill, but after all easy when you know how. Love, on the other hand, is evenhandedness, you give and you get. I love my husband, but if I can not go back to my time and spend long enough here, I believe I can love again.  
I hope so.  
But lust .... As history has shown, sex has been and will always be the driving force of people-to-people relationships. "

Earl gave his cup to Sebastian.

"You can leave."

"Yes, sir."

When the butler left, the young man crossed his arms and looked at me.

"Now, tell me what happened yesterday between you and Sebastian."

"Nothing worth mentioning."

"Lady, I do not accept that answer. I saw his lips, and your relations. Sebastian does not usually show his feelings, but in my room in the evening, he was downright cranky. So, I repeat, what happened between you two? "

I sighed, leaned my elbow to the table and buried my face to my hands.

"It is impossible for human to die for sexual frustration, so I believe it quite unlikely that it could damage the demon," I said, raising my eyes.

"That did not answer anything."

"I do not think he's upset about anything I did, but rather about what I said," I continued.

"And?"

“I told him, at starting a carnal relationship with a servant would be the poor thanks for hospitality what Your Honor had shown for me,"

To my surprise, Earl began to laugh.

His heartfelt hilarity got my own lips curved, even though I did not understand what was so amusing about it.

After a while, my host breathed deep and looked at my eyes.

"I would not have thought that sometimes happens that Sebastian does not get what he wants."

"First time for everything. And I was serious. I'm not going to start any kind of relationship with any of the inhabitants of this house as long as I am dependent on your hospitality. In addition, I do not even have the slightest intention of interfering with a non-human being. "

"Even if I command you?"

I looked sharply at the young boy.

"It's something I decide for myself. With your permission or without it. I am ready to be used as a pawn, but I, and only I myself resolve it, with whom I bed. So if your butler's attitude problem bother you, tell him to put his head in order himself. I'm not helping in that case. "

I slammed the napkin on the table and stood up.

"Thanks for the food."

I pound out of the door, past Sebastian, right upstairs and my room.


	27. Chapter 27

I lay in a hot bath, only my nose on the surface.

I gave verbena fragrance shut my sense of smell, noise of water close my ears.  
Hot water relaxed my muscles, floating calm my mind.

Through the roar of my ear I heard when someone knocked on the bathroom door.

"Yes?"

"May I get in, Lady?"

Sebastian.

"No you don't."

"All right, Lady. May I ask about what you talked with the master? "

"You do not. And you know very well yourself. I bet you listen in. "

"I know he was amused. For what?"

"He seemed to be quite astonished, actually pleasantly surprised that you got the marching orders."

On the other side of door was quiet for a moment.

"You forget one thing, Lady. You left me a loophole. "

"Pardon?"

"You will never do it again without my permission"

"Jumalauta!"

"Do not hold your breath when you wait for it!" I roared.

In this situation wholly innocent sponge slam into the door, splashing soapy water around.

Sighed, I fall under the greeny water.

"Where the hell stage my life went so hopelessly messed up?"


	28. Sebastian P.O.V.

Sebastian P.O.V.

When I closed my eyes, I saw her only.

The morning sun shining behind her, revealing the contours of the body through the thin fabric.  
The raised hands, swinging hips, eyes closed when she danced in a strange, swirling melody rhythm.

I had come to awaken her, but I solidified, just staring at her.

Nymph, syphide, nereid, waving on the combers of her own song, free from world, submerged in her own dimension.

I sweating, I felt how bit getting up in my throat.

I had to step back, run away from her, even though at the same time I would have given anything, that I could have stayed.

I had to go out, sit in a cool morning air until calmed down.

When I closed my eyes, I saw her wawing figure.

Wind sighed her singing melody, on the bark of tree coiled her hairs. On the surface of the water splashed her pale skin, and the center of the world was the navel what loom through on her clothes.

The first thing what impressed me was her courage and aplomb. Her direct gaze, the way she looked straight into the eyes, sharply, attentively, just in a different way than women in this era generally.

She was unordinary tall compared to modern women, but carried herself in a way that is not found in many men either.

Her straight backs and long steps, no trace of shame that would have marked the position of any other male-lengthed woman.

She had the courage and self-acceptance, assurity that challenged the viewer.

She was proud of the fact that she was a woman, from head to toe, and rightly considered herself as good and valuable as anyone which she encountered.

I remember how I saw her for the first time awake.

Sitting on a window sill, long legs bare.

The other on the hook, the other in a swinging relaxed, toes toward the floor.

Rusty curls surrounded by green hood, almond-shaped eyes looking straight and curious.

I realized only later, what color her eyes were. In the twilight they looked on brown, but the sun revealed their deep, warm greenness.

The cigarette between her fingers drew wisp of smoke into the air.

Her confused look when I talked to her.

A deep, husky alto, as she answer to me, got tingles through my body.

I was surprised by the sheer force of her presence.  
It felt like she would fill the room, with her voice, scent, pure glow of her personality.

Day by day more strongly I realized only remain to follow her, her movements, her voice, habitudes.

The way she read, with her thumb touched each finger of the same hand, in turn, back and forth until the moves merged into a solemn wave.

How she licked her lips before putting the cigarette in her mouth.

How she anxious or wistfully chewing on her lower lip, tempting to kiss, to nibble ....

In the mornings, I stayed to watch for her sleeping figure. How she slept on her side, twisted like a kitten, a cushion pressed against her chest, her curled lashes flickering on her cheeks.

Perhaps the most I was fascinated by her laughter.

Not that friendly, but the correct smiles she shared with master and me.

But that husky, deep-upwelling giggling, which made the face blushing, and the waters came up in the eye when she discussed to Bard and Finny, or when she was throwing pillows with Mey-Rin.

It catched, stunned, took my breath away and heated my blood.

Or a sudden grin that changed the blink of an eye her skin, smooth like made of porcelain, web of svelte wrinkles, unveiling her age.  
Wrinkled nose arm, who called to kiss it smooth ...

Her hilarity was like a sheet lightning: unpredictable, spontaneous. Lost before you can notice, leaving the witnesses confused and in the state of uncertainty.

Her unconstrained shocked me at first.

That's easiness, with which she took off her clothes and walked in the room without forgetting my presence.

Only day of the opera dance I realized correctly what it meant to her when I heard her speak to Mey-Rin.

Nothing.

She was equally at home with clothes on than without, without introducing herself, but without embarrassing.  
In her there was no obscenity, just fairness and self-acceptance.

As she said, the sexualization of nudity was only cultural-related. If nudity had been a natural part of life since birth, it was naturally also the relate.  
And she did not do it for nuisance.  
It was only relevant when you came out to the bath or changed your clothes.

But the attitude of others was not so uncomplicated.

Mey-Rin almost choke in her embarrassed.

I almost choke when I thought of other people to see her like that, drops of water glistening on the skin, slender muscles moving under the skin.

Her scent tormented me.

Soft, sweet aroma. Like a combination of vanilla and melted sugar, the breeze of a newly-made panna cotta.

When she get excited, the smell of molten sugar intensified.

When we dance, the scent surrounds me like a cloud, a fog that wraps both of us in it arms, like she was in my arms, the body against my body.

I felt contentment when I noticed I had the same effect on her as she did to me.

Flustered cheeks, tense movements.

I could have taken her to bed there and then.

The night of Opera ball was torture.

Watch when she laughed and talked whit mans, which swarming around her.  
How she gave a touching herself, how she skillfully avoided meddlesomes changed hands, stroked her skin, her lips at fan.  
How she allured and excited.  
Teasing and sidestepping.  
Wrapped them around her little finger, intoxivated with presence.  
Suggest tacitly, but left unsatisfied, walking a hairbreadth thin tightrope of decency.

Without hope to touching that pearl-like shimmering skin.  
Without a chance to taste that skin beneath the bluish veins.  
Without being intoxicated from her scent, for which sweat and perfume gave an animalistic flavor.

See beside how she lureded the murderer to her embrace.  
She enfold her figure around for a heated man, pulled him closer, touching, immersing, opening up.

And finally, like a female spider, pulling her knife and destroying her victim.

I almost tear off the soldier's head, only because he had touched her so closely.  
I had to gather all my strength, so I got a man delivered into the hands of the Queen's Guard, only slightly bruised.

And when I came back to look her up.

In the shades of the trees, the dimmed light flashing on her white skin.  
Her scent, like a foil on her skin.

Her excitement, like a sweet cloud around her.

Heavy breathing, heartbeats.

She was a living temptation to me, and I did not even think about disputed.

Her waist in my hands, her breast against my chest.

Soft lips, even softer tongue.

She melted in my arms like honey, annoying, intoxicating, supplanting oxygen.

I was so enamored that I did not notice change in time.  
Bitter surging of fear, her muscles tension.

I would say that I got what I deserved.

And that was worth it.

But damn, at that woman had a sharp knee.

What was I thinking, she asked.

Nothing.

Poor defense.

The journey back home was terrible.

I was ashamed of myself, even though I could not rue what I did.

I would liked to apologize, even though I just want only to repeat my actions.

But she refused to speak about it.

The Master did not need to know about this.

But I was hungry for more.

Jos sinä sytyt tuleen  
Haluan minä olla vesi,  
tai helposti syttyvää materiaalia.

(If you turned on fire  
I want to be water,  
Or flammable material.)

I picked the words in her head.

I wanted to torch her with my flame, burn to ash in her blaze.

Until the end.


	29. Chapter 29

I spent the day in my room.

I doubted that others will interpreted my absences sulking, but I did not care.

I was emotionally too confused that I could have seen Earl or Sebastian.

I spent my time on the windowsill.

Smoking, staring out of the window, thinking.

I could not deny attraction between me and Sebastian.

But giving up to pure physical desire would be madness.

The possibility of changing the desire to something deeper, to something what transgressing beyond physicality, would be even greater madness.

I knew how the human mind works.

When desire is satisfied, it changes easily into infatuation.

And infatuation entail jealousy, desire to own, greed.

Affection.

Love.

And what kind of feeling can you expect from a demon?

Lust.

Acquisitiveness.

Avarice.

None of a feelings was a target that I wanted to be, not if I had to live my life in the same house.

My life was messed up enough of anyway.

But my body cried to him.

My heart started to pulse faster when I saw him.

I felt my skin leaking hot and red when he touched me.

In the bed, I dreamed of him and woke up feverish, unsaturated.

I turned to bed and turned desperately to find the cushions cooler side against my burning cheeks.

Dream had brought him to me.

We were again in the garden of the opera, in the darkness, only the silent, distant sounds around us.

But this time I did not stop him.

Or myself.


	30. Chapter 30

Two days after the opera dancing, I woke up early in the morning.

The birds chirped outside the window, and the first sun rays of the hot day glittered on the pond.

The clock was only half past four.

Servants would rise not until to six.

I took off my nightgown, get dressed morning gown and slippers.

I grabbed the cigarettes and the towel from bathroom and headed for the pond.

Cold water and physical activity would calm me.

Or at least I hoped so.

Without slowing down I stepped into the quay.

I dropped my pack without looking at them.

I took off my robe without stopping my steps.

I stepped along the stairs what lead to water, until the surface of the water reached my waist, and dive under the water with a forceful exertion.

The cool water closed above me, and the flow flushed my skin.

I swim under water until my empty lungs forced me to the surface.

The august's sun had risen above the trees, and the sun-reflecting water make my eyes wet with a brightness.

I took a deep breath.

If I closed my eyes, I could imagine at I was in our a summer cottage's lake, the morning sun shining over a cliff and great crested grebe's screams echoing over water.

But here the sky was deep blue instead of the familiar pale sky.

Instead of pines and spruce trees, oaks and lindens were reflected in the water.

Instead of the peat and iron tinted dark water, this was so clear at I can see through the fine sand of the bottom.

And instead of the great crested grebe, over the water's echoes the husky shrieks of the pair of swans.

I sighed and turned to float on my back.

Water slosh in my ears, and I saw how flock of sparrows whiz across the sky.

Cloudless sky promised continuing heat wave of the season.

Funny, I had always been under the impression that England is constantly rainy and chilly.

Instead, here, except just one storm, there was oppressing sultry weather, which was easy only by occasional winds.

Maybe raining was reserved for autumn, winter and spring seasons.

Will I ever return to a place where the winters are snowy and the summers are fresh?

Or did I die here?

As a outlandish of both my body and my mind.

What would be written in my gravestone?

"Born in 1980. Died in the fifty years earlier."

It would get reason to wonder to scientists.

Or should I even get a grave?

Will I end up in an anonymous pit, and the foxes build their nest between my ribs?

Would anyone remember me?

Or was I already dead?

Maybe this was an afterlife.

I sighed and turned on my belly, swimming towards the quay with long strokes and strong kicks.

Maybe I'm thinking too much.

Maybe I should just let it be and go with the flow.

Stop wondering, what is right and what should be or do.

To do, what others commanded and required.

And what I want, without thinking about the consequences.

But I could not continue this way.

It would be best if Sebastian would find in some other attraction of interest.

Without his response to feeding my own feelings, I could continue my life in peace.

And, anyway, I had two healthy hands.

I caught the stairs and pressed my face under water, giving cool water to soothe and flush out the worries.

The best is to just enjoy this moment.

Silence, coolness.

From a pure feeling when the water had flushed the sweat away from the skin, and the wind blows the hair to stand up in coolness.

The pleasant lassituder after swimming effort.

I wiped the moisture away from my face and rise up to the quay.

I applied the towel to under my body and I sit to dry.

At the opposite end of the pond, the swan pair and the chick of this spring swim proudly, honking piercingly to each other.

I laughed at myself.

Mother Nature had given swans beautiful appearance, noble attitude, gleaming white plumage, gracefully curved neck and a strong body.

And the sound that made the teeth aching and the ears blowing.

Brings balance.

I followed the bird family so closely, at I did not noticed how gravel crackles behind me.

I got scared when behind me was hearing despondent voice.

"I should kill you."

I turned, and noticed at I was looking at the red-haired grim reaper.

The man's red clothes glowed in the sunlight striving his tresses, and behind his eyeglasses piercing yellow-green eyes stared at me.

"I should kill you," the man repeated.

"Why?"

"You take Sebastian out from me."

I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I will not take him. Not from you, not from anyone. "

"But he wants you. And if you are here, he does not even look at me. "

"I can not influence what he want. If I could, you could keep him on your own. "

"If I kill you, he can not want you," the man said and pulled a chainsaw behind his back.

I blinked a moment of astonishment, but then his words came over to the surprise of seeing the gadget.

"If you kill me, do you think he wants you then?" I asked.

"Then it will be seen."

"Sebastian is butler of the Phantomhive. How do you think he'll react if you kill the guest of the manor? "

The man dropped his weapon, hesitant.

"My death would make him fail in his job. I do not think it will stir his warm feelings towards you. "

The man dropped his weapon on the ground and slumped to sit on the quay.

"What should I do to get him to want me?"

Oh my God...

"I do not know," I responded and ignited the cigarette.

"My life easier a lot, if he would find some another item of interest," I said, offering a packet of cigarettes on the redhead.

The man shook his head for the offer.

"I just want to go home", I huffed.

"Where do you live?"

"Almost two thousand kilometers from the map and almost a hundred years from the calendar."

"Whoops."

“You take the words out my mouth.”

We sat together, silent.

"Can reapers move in time and space?"

"Only in space. We have portals which through we can move quickly. As far as I know, moving in time is impossible, but I do not know for sure. Nobody has ever tell about this possibility. "

I took a deep breath and leaned my jaw on my knees.

That's about that possibility.

"Could you find out it somehow?"

"Why would I do something like that for you?"

"Both of us want something that is impossible to get. I want to go home. You want Sebastian. "

"If you can find a way to go in through to space, and also in time, then both of us can get what others want."

"But I do not want him. So if I find up a way to help you, then do you help me then? "

"I do not know."

I closed my eyes.

At least that was better than death threats.

We sat in silence and watched how the sun play on the waves.

"How you became a reaper?"

"We're all men's who have made a suicide."

"Why did you do that?

"I was born into the wrong body. In my lifetime was not accepted by a man who felt she was a woman. I tried my best to adapt, to live as society was expecting. But then I fell in love. The man mocked and insulted me in public, in front of everyone. My life collapsed. I could not go out. I do not look at anyone. In the end, I did not last longer. "

I grabbed his hand and pressed gently.

"Do not I disgust you?" the man asked.

"Why would you disgusted me? No one can choose what kind of person you born. "

"Besides," I grinned, "I like mens too. So what's the point of disgusting? "

"My best friend is a woman who loves another woman," I continued.

"She's my daughter's godmother, and is going to marry her lover next year. Or in the next year, where I moved here. "

"The world is always unfair to those who do not fulfill the normal characteristics. I think people have the right to love whom he or she pleases, as long as it is a voluntary. "

The man leaned his head on my shoulder.

"I should hate you," he sighed.

I twist my arm around his shoulders.

"You've been trying to kill me once and threatened twice. It's me that should hate you. "

I felt warm sympathy for this broken soul.

If I could help him, I would do it.

Gravel's crunching behind us made us to turn to.

Sebastian.

"Lady, go away from him."

I sighed and wore a green robe on me.

"How did you know where I was?"

"I always know where everyone is in the manor area."

"All right, I'll go inside."

I turned toward the mansion.

"Sebastian, you stay here."

"Is that a command, Lady?"

"I said once that I only give orders in an emergency or in a bed. You can to inferred yourself, either this belongs. "

The voice of my steps covered almost completely the happy, shrilly shout of Grell.

Sometimes only small things are needed.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you get some smut....

The mansion was quiet.

I sneak with bare feets to my room to dress and went to the kitchen to find some breakfast.

I had already figured out why the kitchen seemed so new.

I had woken up one morning for a hollow thud, and when I went to see I found a broken wall and Bard all over covered by ashes.

Obviously old ways were too difficult to get rid of.

I appreciated the man's explosive-expert skills, but did he really need to test them inside the house?

Now, fortunately, the kitchen was empty, apparently everyone was still sleeping, because the wall clock was ticking until half past five.

I began to croon Elán at the same time as I studied the contents of pantry.

_”Leave the sleep and let the springtime talk /_   
_In tongues from the time before man /_   
_Listen to a daffodil tell her tale /_   
_Let the guest in, walk out, be the first to greet the morn /_   
_The meadows of heaven await harvest /_   
_The cliffs unjumped, cold waters untouched /_   
_The elsewhere creatures yet unseen /_   
_Finally your number came up, freefall awaits the brave”_

Following my nose, I found a paper bag full of roasted coffee beans.

Brilliant.

Then I just need something to grind these ...

_”Come, taste the wine /_   
_Raise the blind /_   
_They will guide you from the light /_   
_Writing noughts till the end of time /_   
_Come, surf the clouds /_   
_Race the dark /_   
_It feeds from the runs undone /_   
_Meet me where the cliff greets the sea”_

When I passed stove I throw a couple of small billets in the firebox and blew hard enough to get glowing embers to flame in the flames.

Luckily, the damper was left open.

Water to boiler and atop of cooker to heat up.

_”The answer to the riddle before your eyes /_   
_Is in dead leaves and fleeting skies /_   
_Returning swans and sedulous mice /_   
_Writing's on the gardens book, in the minute of a lover's look /_   
_Building a sandcastle close to the shore /_   
_A house of cards from a worn-out deck /_   
_A home from the fellowship, poise and calm /_   
_Write a lyric for the song only you can understand”_

I would not have thought in advance that thing what I most miss of my time was Spotify.

I longed for the quiet moments in the morning, when I pad in pajamas and and woolen stokings in the kitchen, put the Nightwish play from cell phone and started to download the coffee machine.

When the porridge was ready to eat, the rest of the family had awakened to scents and music and walked into the kitchen to start their day.

Now I had to acquiesce for those songs whose words I remembered.

 _”Come, taste the wine /_  
 _Raise the blind /_  
 _They will guide you from the light /_  
 _Writing noughts till the end of time /_  
 _Come, surf the clouds /_  
 _Race the dark /_  
 _It feeds from the runs undone /_  
 _Meet me where the cliff greets the sea”_  
(Elán / Nightwish)

The coffee grinder was found on the window wall shelf.

I measured the appropriate number of beans in the top of the tank by a gut feeling and sit down on the bench to rotate the crank.

This had not been done since my early childhood.

I poured ready rounds into a pot where Sebastian had brought me coffee in the morning and added on the boiling water.

I did not have a clue how to block rounds coming to the cup, but I guess I would probably survive it with cautious pouring.

A new dive into the pantry resulted big sack of oat flakes.

I was just pouring flakes in boiling water, when yawning Finny walked from the door.

"What's this smells here?"

"Coffee, I guess. Good morning "I wished for a furry gardener.

Finny sat down to the table and was watching my trots.

"What are you doing?"

"Breakfast for myself. Do you want too? "

"Yeah. What's in the boiler? "

"Oatmeal. I ate this for breakfast always at home. If you want it sweet, on the closet is probably the jam. I do not like it sweet in the morning, I prefer the clod of butter "I explained while I folded the porridge.

"Who sang here?" Asked the next arriving Bard, her eyes peering Mey-Rin behind him.

"I."

"What the song was, sounded beautiful," the maid asked.

"The song from my favorite band. I used to listen to their music in the morning when I make breakfast. "

Bard digged the bread from the grocer and relish of the cold room while I put the pot of the tea-water on the cooker.

The kitchen was full of talk and eating.

"Where's Sebastian?" Mey-Rin asked.  
"In general, he is the first in the kitchen."

"I saw him in passing in the garden, when I went in the swimming" I said.

I smiled for myself. Hopefully, Grell was happy. Maybe I could not do anything for him, but I could at least create opportunities. It would depend on himself, whether he could use them.

I stabbed dirty dishes in the wash basin when the servants' door opened and the butler stepped in.

I glanced at the man quickly from head to toe, and I noticed a reddish mark on his neck.

Good job, Grell.

"What are you still planting here, go to your work," the butler snappeded to the crowd who sitting at the table.

"Mey-rin, have the laundry been treated?"

"Bard, food supplies to be retrieved from the market!"

"And Finny, the trees next to the driveway should be trimmed!"

The trio swept their mouth and quickly fled to the work.

I opened the water tap and started to pour hot water into the washbasin when I feel how the man step behind me.

"How did it go?" I asked grin corner of my mouth.

"Why the hell did you do it?"

"You can not always get what you want. It is true for all of us. I looked that he is entitled to at least a possibility. "

Sebastian grabbed my arm and turned me around, face to face.

"What the hell do you mean. And why you told me be twosome with him, even though I know you want me. "

"Wanting and getting are two different things. As well as the desire and accomplish desire. I can not deny that I do feel appeal to you. I'm not made of birch bark. But I do not want to go further with you, because it would make my already messy life too complicated. So be content with what you get. And make even one happy. "

I stepped aside and went to collect dishes from the table.

Dishes rushed on the floor when the hard hands pushed me on the table and the lips hit my mouth.  
I breathed irritably, and I opened my mouth to bite his lip, but the experience is a great teacher and man pulled farther away from my face and started kissing my neck the most skillful lips.  
God damn it .......  
I felt a little chills falling under my skin when the soft touch found each of the delicate spots, and tempted them tormenting.  
I felt how my breathing began to change panting when my blood warmed up.

The hands pushed me closer, I felt his heart beating against my breasts.  
My arm wound up at the man's neck without the commandment of my brain, my fingers interlock in ebony locks.

Sebastian grabbed my buttocks and pulled me tight against himself, my feverish groin against his growing excitement.

"You say you want me, but you refuse to do your will. Still you melt in my arms, and you pull me closer to you. You give conflicting signals, woman, "I heard him whispering in my ear.

"Maybe only I like how I can get you squirm," I replied, and nip his earlobe.  
"Maybe I enjoy it, how you follow me with your eyes, how do I get your hand to shake and your self-control to crack."

"Bitch."

"Possibly. But what would you call yourself then? "I grinned.

I passed my lips along the man's clavicle and smiled as the skin rose to the goose bumps.

"Maybe I enjoy the game."

"The game?"

"Which one's self-control will be broken first."

"Do not trust too much my sangfroid," Sebastian croak.

"I do not trust you at all."

I slid my hand down, and flipped my finger around his fabric-covered member.

The moaning caused by the compression was very satisfactory.

I gently rubbed my thumb back and forth, with the man breathing dingling at a breaking moan.

"I do not trust you at all, and you should not trust me. Because this game I know how to play, "I whispered when my fingers tease a man who leaned with his hand on the table surface, his forehead against my forehead.

We looked at each other in the eyes, olive green to reddish brown, long lashes touching each other.

"Maybe I should leave you like this," I temped.

"You make me proud of myself. I would have assumed that the demon would be more resilient than human mens, but if I do like this..... "

A little gesture make man to close his eyes and his pelvic jerk like a spasms.

"Ah-ah-ah ..."

I click my tongue scolding.

"Do you want me to continue?"

"Please..."

"Then, beg me."

"Please, go on ... Touch me ...."

I got up and pushed Sebastian back.

"Sweet words, but I give you a free hint."

I cut off my hand and touched the red mark on his neck.

"It's a good idea to wipe the other woman's lipstick away from in advance."

I turned my back and left the unsatisfied, panting man in the kitchen.

This game can be played in two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I naughty? Absolutely.


End file.
